Time to turn around

Is anybody out there??? I promise I've been reading everybody's blogs. Just nothing too exciting to write about. But now...

Yet again... I feel like I'm always posting this. The whole maintenance thing has yet to sink in. My weight is back up to 220. I've gained 30 lbs in a year, and I'm only 32 lbs lighter than I was at my heaviest.

David and I have done 2 rounds of IUI with our fertility specialist. She "thinks" he has enough sperm that we might get pregnant on our "own." If this doesn't work, we move to IVF.

Last week, when I tried to put my jeans on, they were so tight I couldn't get them buttoned. I texted David immediately and said, "If I'm not pregnant, I need to go back to Weight Watchers." Well, unless my body is just playing a trick on me, I am not pregnant.

I got a new phone today - the Mo.ment from Sam.sung. I download the app for SparkPeople and made myself an account. Right now, I don't have the money to go back to WW - we have trees that need cut down and another round of fertility payments coming up - or the time. So, Spark People is free, so I'm gonna try it! I have it on the first page - I can add every single thing I put in my mouth, track my water intake, my exercise... everything!

So, my goal is to lose the 30 lbs by December 1. Hopefully, I'll get pregnant before that goal happens, but I need an end date - a reachable, accountable goal. I WILL get healthy again. My goal is to get 10 minutes of cardio every day. Doesn't seem like much, does it? But, for me, at this point, that's alot. So, I'll get healthy.....

And I WILL get pregnant.

Hello! I'm here!

I can't believe I haven't blogged for a month! I guess that shows you how busy we've been... Nothing too exciting, just working....

But, David and I made the decision to start the fertility treatments. Yeah, it's expensive but we want our baby. Last month, we did an unmedicated IUI, but didn't get pregnant. This month, I took 50 mg of Cl.omid. We're waiting for the positive OPK, and then we'll do another IUI. Hopefully this one works!

My weight has also continued to go up. I'm trying to make better food choices and get back to the gym. But I've been busy and lazy. I need to - I need to get healthy again. We signed up for the Race for the Cure in October, so I need to be able to walk it!!!

Oh, and the most exciting thing: I got a tattoo last night!

The Kokopelli turtle stands for so many things... It stands for fertility, wisdom, and strength. I feel like David and I's struggles with infertility have made us wiser and stronger. And this little guy is going to be my good luck charm! My little Kokopelli turtle is going to put my baby on his back and carry him to me!