Picture Frames

Warning: this may be a very depressing yet hopeful fertility-related post!

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A friend of mine let me borrow a book recently... I read it in 2 nights. It was amazing, sad, hopeful... everything!

The Empty Picture Frame by Jenna Currier Nadeau. She writes, with her husband's "contributions" about their struggle with infertility. Their "problem" was her. Not male infertility like David and I struggle with.. but I think any "infertile" has the same feelings, frustrations, hopes, dreams, and nightmares. If you struggle with infertility, or know anybody who does, you need to read this book. NOW.

One thing I got out of this book... Journal. I'm going to start blogging more so that I can share with our babies -- however many we can be blessed with -- the struggles. And show them how loved they are before they've even implanted themselves into me!

So, tonight, I went to David's mom's house. They just moved back to town and she's so happy that she has her house set up. She's been telling me how she has the "family wall" and the "Day and Panda wall" (our nicknames) and the "Matt and Tina and kids wall". So, I knew there were going to be many pictures hanging up.. Big deal, right?

Matt is David's brother and he and his wife have been blessed with 3 beautiful children. They are all under 4 and none were exactly planned. When their oldest was less than a week old, they were both able to sleep through his cries. when he was 2 weeks old, she started propping his bottle at night so that she could sleep with fewer interruptions. His first ear infection... David's mom let the baby sleep in her room because "I can just tell they are exhausted." WTF? They are parents now! They need to raise their children -- not stay up until 3:00 in the morning, drinking, smoking, and partying. Their second child? The first child got to stay in mother in law's room permanently. Because heaven forbid she actually raise her kids. They are both addicted to the tv - at less than 4 yrs old, they can both sit through an entire 90 minute movie. And the movies they watch? Scary movies -- like movies that scare ME. Granted, I scare easily. But some of these movies scare David! The oldest can say "Cover your eyes Manna, this part is scary and the monsters are coming." Seriously???? The youngest is about to be 7 months old and JUST started rolling over. Why? Because she was never anywhere but her bouncy-seat or car seat. Again, propped bottles and TV babysitting. She doesn't need rocked to fall asleep -- she needs the TV on.

So, back to the picture frames... Their "wall" is right above the TV. So, of course, as I'm watching a show with everybody, I get to look at their faces -- their happy family pictures - tons of them. A family pic from when the first and second were born, and a couple pictures of the new baby (David's brother is in Iraq right now so no family pictures yet). But you know what I noticed? They were not smiling! The kids were laughing and obviously having a good time. But their parents? They looked miserable.

How can you be blessed with beautiful children and NOT be happy???? So, I got to stew about this for 2 hours before I finally gave up. I made an excuse to head home, and left... I'm bitter, I'm angry. Why can THEY have 3 children -- they got married while she was pregnant with their first -- and David and I don't have one? Neither has been able to hold a stable job until he joined the military. David's brother never graduated high school. His wife did and her "college" was one that you hear on the radio - "I completed my program in 9 short months and I am the happiest I've ever been!" Guess what? She couldn't handle it. She dropped out after her second class.

I have lots of picture frames around the house... On one wall, I have a couple wedding pictures hung. For Christmas, I made a collage of family pics that we had done back in September. In another spot, I have the picture that my mom gave us for Christmas a few years ago with our dogs and her 2. Oh, and in the kitchen I have a picture of a bottle of wine with a glass -- a memory from one of our wine weekends.

And in the closet, hiding... I have empty frames. Those frames will have pictures of babies -- our babies. But when? My heart breaks everytime David's mom mentions my sister in law or the kids. I want to cry. They need to be loved. They need to be cared for.

Now, for the happy part of the post! On Thursday, we meet with the RE! I've heard good things about Dr. O, and I'm very excited - but scared - to see what she has to say.

#1 - I want my progesterone checked. I just have this deep down gut feeling that mine is off. My luteal phase is short, and my mom's was low. Also, my grandma had multiple miscarriages -- back then, they didn't test things like this. But, with mom's history, chances are, grandma had low progesterone also.

#2 - We are going for an IUI in July. David's numbers aren't much better, so we are going with donor sperm. (And I only tell you, my followers, because only a handful of you know me in real life, and if you do, I trust you enough to keep our "secret") We can't afford the IVF w/ ICSI (sperm injection), so we're going to try this... and pray.

So, I'm scared, frustrated, sad, and hopeful... all at once. I'm not scared to be a mom or to be pregnant. I'm scared to GET pregnant, and I'm scared to STAY pregnant. I'm frustrated that people all around us get pregnant and didn't even WANT another baby. (I had one former student's pregnant mom say to me, "You jinxed me by asking when I'd have another one. Every time I look down, I think about you." I hope she was joking, but damn, that hurt!) I'm sad that David and I are going on Year 3 of trying to have a baby and still don't have one. But, I'm hopeful... I'm hopeful that this will all change. I'm hopeful that I will be a mom. And I'm hopeful that this appointment on Thursday will yield the answers that I NEED it to answer.

More to come on Thursday.... And if you got all the way through this, kudos to you!

Catching Up!

Last night a friend and I were talking. Before she signed off, she said "PS. Update your blog." So, Becca, you asked for it!

David and I have been in a whirlwind the last month. Things are going great! We had a slight breakdown and huge blow-out fight. We re-did our budget and we are doing really good. For the first time in AGES, we've actually had money in our account to last between paychecks.

Baby Making

We've also approached a new level of infertility. We know that IUI will not get us pregnant. Yeah, it would get the swimmers closer, but David's numbers are still low - there is "hope" that someday, they will get better. But what is someday? We are looking at IVF with ICSI - this means that the sperm is directly injected into the egg. But, this is extremely expensive.

Another option that has never really been an option but is kind of an option now -- donor sperm. David has always been very against this thought - it wouldn't be his child. I've never really thought of it as an option - it just seems cold to me. But, David told me that he is okay with the possibility. We want to have a baby, to be a family, and this may be our best option.

We have alot of thinking to do, and we meet with a fertility specialist later this month. We have alot of thinking to do. Plus, I talked to my mom and found out that my grandma had multiple miscarriages and so did she. They know her problem was progesterone - they didn't do testing back in the 40s when my grandma was having problems, but she could have had the same problem. So, we will probably be testing my progesterone levels....

Regardless of what we do, we can't do any procedures until September or October. We are going to use some of my flex spending to do the procedure, and that doesn't renew until then.

I really struggled over Mother's Day this weekend. I'm not sure why this year was so much harder than years past. And I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe it was the numerous people saying "Happy Mother's Day" to me. When I say, Oh, I'm not a mom. They just look at me and smile. Maybe it was the newly pregnant friend who said, "You know, you and Dave got married before us. When are you gonna have a baby?" Maybe it was just PMS... Who knows.

Weight Loss

My weight journey has definitely been a roller coaster. I wanted to get back down to 190 before our anniversary. I don't think it's really going to happen - I've been doing alot of emotional eating lately. But, my new goal is to get down to 190 before my 10 year class reunion. That's June 26. I can do it!

I need to start over at the basics - writing food down, exercising, drinking water, getting the daily requirements of veggies, fruits, grains, etc... I can do it!!!! Keep me accountable.

So, that's pretty much my update... Lots of ups and ups - no real 'downs'. We're doing our best to stay ahead, and praying for our future. I promise to get better about blogging!

Merry Christmas!

One more Christmas has passed and we don't have our tiny miracle yet. I know, I know.. It will come. But damn it, I'm sick of waiting!

So, if you watch the news, you know that the midwest is being pelted! We've already gotten a foot of snow and are getting up to 6 inches more tonight/tomorrow. This is on top of the 10 inches we got 2 weeks ago that has yet to melt. Yeah, great times. Ready for the Snowed In crowd:
* 11 adults - me, David, my mom, and his family (including the fertile sister in law)
* 3 children under 4 - the 3 of the above fertile sister in law.
* 10 dogs - mine, my mom's, my mother in law's.
* Wine, wine, wine

It's definitely been an interesting few days... We celebrated Christmas last night - dinner, presents, etc... - because David was supposed to go to work this morning but couldn't get out of the neighborhood. So, he left at 5:00 pm - it took him 2 hrs and 15 min to get to work. But, he made it safe. And that's what matters. Jazzy and Max are not dealing with the people/kids well - they are stuck to my side no matter what and Max is being more protective than usual.

We all enjoyed opening gifts together. Our 2 yr old nephew is just learning how to open gifts - he usually gets in trouble for ripping so he had a hard time with learning that this was "okay" for the night. Once he got it figured out, it was hilarious!

And the last gift of the night was one from David to me.... A cruise!!!!!! We had been thinking about doing something over Spring Break, but "we" (me) didn't think we could afford a cruise this year. David found a really good deal on a 5 day Carnival cruise leaving from Galveston, TX the week of my Spring Break!

That also means that I need to get my butt in gear and lose the 15 lbs I've gained... Monday is a new day - the family will be gone, and I will be able to get back on the Weight Watcher's band wagon strict! I need to go to a meeting - I know I will have to pay, but I'm okay with that. Well, not really, but I need to face the scale and make myself accountable. The NICE sister in law and I already have a Cruise Shopping Day set in February!

So, I need help! Keep me accountable. My goal is to get the 15 lbs down by early February and then maintain until the cruise - I want to get down to 185, and the last time I got on the scale I was 201. I need to weigh myself in the morning, and then I'm going to make a ticker ~ I know how to gain the weight, I know how to lose the weight... Now how do I maintain it? Help!

Life's update

So, it's been a while, huh? Where to start? Things have been freaking crazy... a roller coaster.. and it seems like more downs than ups.

I'm having one of those moments right now, so this will be short, sweet, and to the point. Pics and more ramblings to come when I'm not PMSing.

* I got my knee brace. It's going to be a long process, but I have hope that it will work. I got it on Monday, and when it's on, it feels great! My Physical Therapist is happy with the "progress" I've made since Monday. He's also letting me wear it throughout the day, and then I'll take it off after I do my night exercises. Except for today, when I just pushed too hard, it's been great!

* David and I are going through a few things.. We decided to stop the foster care classes. Yeah, I'm sad, but our marriage and our sanity is more important to me. There must be a reason that it just wasn't right...

* No news in the baby-making field....

* Maintaining my weight loss is not going all that great. I'm a stress eater - always have been, and I always will be. I wish I could tell you that Weight Watchers taught me how to be perfect all the time. But, guess what? I'm not perfect. It's pointless to try to fool you - or myself - that I'm perfect and can do no wrong. Sunday is a new week, and I will be back on track. I'm going to go back into weight loss mode - I need to lose the 10 lbs I've gained through stress and not being able to work out. I'll get there. I know I can do it. And then it won't come back on until I'm pregnant.

Race Results and Pictures!

As promised, more details from the race...

The day started out raining - CRAZY, pouring down rain. We were hoping and praying that it would stop raining, or at least stop pouring down rain. We sat in the car while we waited for the time to pass and hope the rain would stop!



Luckily, it DID stop! About 8:15 it started slowing down a little and by 8:25 it had completely stopped. They did the "normal" pre-race stuff - letting us know what the route was, etc... We made sure our numbers were pinned on and our timing chips were secured on our shoes.

And off we went!! David wanted me to walk the whole thing because my knee has been so bad. I started walking, but got really impatient after 5 minutes - I wanted, no... NEEDED... to run. So, I started running. I made the SMART choice to walk all inclines - up and down. And only ran 4-5 minutes at a time.

Final time?? 40:33! David completed in just over 42 minutes. My dad met us at the finish line and took pictures for us before we went to breakfast. We were wet from rain and sweat, but we felt great!




I did pay for that 40:33 with a fair amount of knee pain for the rest of the day. By the end of the day, it was survivable (or maybe that was the wine??), but David and my dad were really worried about me afterwards.

Thank you to all of you for your support while we've trained. David is doing so great running, and I am so proud of him. I'm waiting until my dr's appt on Sept 8 before I do anymore running. I'm hoping to walk and do some elliptical at the gym, but it all depends on what the knee can handle. I'm hoping -- praying -- that I can keep running after I see him. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

Quick Race Report!

I promise to post pics tomorrow, but it's getting late and it's been a long weekend!

Even with my knee being sore, I completed the race. I wasn't going to run any of it (just walk), but got ants in my pants and began running. I ran maybe 15 minutes of it, which is not much for me. My knee did okay, but I was sore for several hours afterwards. I completed the race in 45 minutes. David completed in 48 minutes.

Then, we took Saturday afternoon and all day today to visit some wineries. We made it to 6 wineries and got some awesome wines.

Pictures and more details to come -- after I catch up on some sleep! Kids start back tomorrow, and I'm meeting with my families for the next 3 days. My students start on Thursday. I'm excited but exhausted!

Quick Update

Well, since David updated his blog, I should probably update mine for the week! I'm running short on time, so no fun formatting - sorry!

Weighin was last night - I was up 1 lb. But, you know what? It was only 1 lb! I'm at 184.8. I can handle that! I had a tough food week - I let myself slack off, and I'm not able to exercise as well because of my knee. So, this week, I'm back to paying attention to what I'm doing. I will track every day, I will pay attention to my daily, weekly, and activity points. I will lose weight this week!

I went to see a PA this week for my knee. She's an idiot. She did an xray and found a "benign" growth on my bone right above my patella. Her nurse said "if" I want to go to an Ortho, they'll write me a referral. Yes, I want to go. Oh, and I asked about exercise and running - "Well, Linda [PA] says you're fine to do it if it doesn't hurt." Okay, well, obviously it hurts - that's why I came to you in the first place! Idiots!!! My Ortho appointment is Sept 8th, and I've heard very good things about this doctor.

So, Saturday is our 5K. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. I know I'm going to at least walk it - I'm hoping to run some of it. I may walk all of it but the last part - at least then I can be running across the finish line! We'll take before/after pictures at the race, and then we're going to breakfast with my dad!

I have my sleep study scheduled. They think I may have narcolepsy or some sort of para-insomnia. So, instead of just staying the night, I have to stay the day, too. They will give me 5 "opportunities" to nap throughout the day to see what my brain does. Lovely. That is Sept 15th/16th.

We went back to school this week! The kids start Monday, but we're doing meetings and getting our rooms ready. Today is a Curriculum Day (meeting with big-wig administrators) and then tonight is "Safe Walk to School" - basically a "meet the teacher" night. So, I have to dress up a little. I'll post a pic later but I feel great!

The turtles get to go to school tomorrow! They are starting to get used to each other. In fact, last night I caught them snuggling in their sleep. And, yes, they are both girls! It wasn't THAT kind of snuggle. I'm excited for the kids to see them!

Well, I think that's about it for my quickie update. I promised you recipes, but I haven't been cooking much. My energy level is still in the dumps and David hasn't been home much. Hopefully next week we'll get into the swing of us both being back at work/school and home together a few hours a night!

Another week gone by...

Much has happened this week! Let's see if I can sum it all up without overlapping from last week's post....

General Life
David and I decided several months ago that we wanted to look into Foster Care. (did I tell you about this? If I did, sorry!) So, back in June, we turned in our paperwork and attended the orientation. 6 weeks later... We've been approved to take the classes!!!! Basically, our background checks came back clean (duh!) and they like what they see on the somewhat basic application. We start the classes on October 6. They are 10 weeks long and basically teach you how to help children the best you can in the situation they are in. It also involves 3 home visits - they will come in and let us know what we need to fix to make it safe for children (smoke alarms, fire extinguishers, chemicals/medicines locked up, etc...). We finish the class December 8, and then wait for the license to come through. After that, they can place kids in our home when needed. Yes, we can tell them "No." But, we're thinking we will have kids in our home by the end of January! Please pray for us through this adventure... We are nervous, but excited!!

My sleep study consult appointment is coming up - it's in 1 week! I'm hoping we can get this sleep study done quick so that I can find out why I am SO DAMN TIRED! David is going with me, and I have to do a sleep diary for the next week.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I report back to school in 11 days. EEK! Where in the world did the summer go? I've been at an early childhood training all week (optional, but paid) and have gotten quite a few good ideas. I'm excited to get back and implement the new things with my kids! I am thinking about going back a day or two early so that I can get a head start. I need to get organized, and I'm the first to admit that I'm not. I don't utilize all the materials that I have in the classroom. This is my 5th group of kids and I don't think that I even know everything that I have! So I'm changing that this year. It is going to be a great year!

5K Training

Well, we only have 15 days left! I really can't believe that the summer has gone so fast and we are so close to the race! Last night, David and I decided to go out to the lake where the race will be. We don't know the route - hopefully it is posted soon - but we picked a way and went. We went at our own pace and I made it out about 2 miles in 25 minutes. I was able to jog all but 7 minutes of the 4 miles! I got done with the entire thing in about 50 minutes. I'm happy with this time because that's almost a mile more than the actual 5K distance! One thing I found out: Zorinsky has WAY to many hills! Oh. My. Goodness!

We are going to go out a few more times before the race and try different routes. From the posted starting point, there are 3 different directions, so we want to do all 3. Hopefully the other 2 won't be so darn hilly!

Weigh In

We were back home this week and got to go to our normal meeting. I was expecting to gain, or maintain, because we had Chinese the night before. Granted, I didn't eat all too bad, but I always retain water because of the sodium. I also ate a REALLY big lunch at my district training because I was bored and there were cookies... Yes, I still fall to the trigger foods. But, yesterday, I only had 1 cookie! I didn't eat 4 like the day before!

So, I gained 3 lbs. David did amazing this week. He lost 13 lbs!!!! He got his 50 lbs charm, and we figured out that he's actually lost 70 lbs from the first time he started! I am so, so proud of him. He is melting in front of my eyes. When we hug, we can both put our arms around each other and touch our hands together. We've never been able to do that because we were both heavy. Now, I'm down 66 lbs and he's down 70!

Weekly Update

Well, it's been another week! So much to talk about...



Infertility

We met with David's family doctor, who is also a licensed endocrinologist. The urologist had told us that we needed the help from the endo because David's estrogen was high. Well, Dr. M looks at it and says "No it's not! This guy is an idiot." Basically, his estrogen levels are slightly elevated because of his weight. Looking back from last year, his FSH and LH are in normal range, as is the "free" testosterone, which is a big improvement! So, the "treatment": Keep losing weight.



This is so frustrating to me. If you know me, or if you've been following my blog for longer than a week or two, you know how badly I want to be a mom. I want to make David a dad. We will be great parents. No, I'm not trying to be cocky about it, but after all of this... and we have it in our hearts. We WILL have a baby. We WILL be awesome parents. Our children will be spoiled, but not so spoiled that you can't stand them!



So, David is going to keep taking all of his vitamins and keep losing weight... He's going to redo the sperm analysis in October (3 1/2 months from now), and see what happens. If his numbers improve, then we can do an IUI in October or November.



Wine

Yep. More wine! David and I came down to Kansas City for mom's 61st birthday. We met some friends of mine from high school for dinner on Tuesday night, which was really nice. On Wednesday, we went to weigh in (more on that shortly...), hit lunch at California Pizza Kitchen on the suggestion of the WW leader, and then went and explored a few wineries!



David lived in KC for 5 years before we met. He worked for the 911 service down here, so he knows the area fairly well. He surprised me by taking me to Stonehaus Farms Winery. Out of all of the wines we've tried, these were seriously some of THE BEST we have ever had. He let us taste his latest vintage of the Traminette and it was to DIE FOR. I can't wait for it to be on the market in a few weeks!

Then, we drove to Knob Noster, MO and visited 2 wineries right next door to each other. Bristle Ridge and Montserrat were both excellent wineries as well!

We ended up with 6 bottles of wine, one of which was opened for Mom's birthday dinner, and we will DEFINITELY be going back to visit all 3 again!

5K Training
We are getting closer and closer! Check out that tracker on the side - August 15 is going to be here before we know it!

This week was better training wise. I'm still dealing with a major lack of energy, but David has been able to push me a little to get off my butt and go run. We went to the gym one morning and I was able to jog for 26 minutes straight. I walked for a few minutes and then jogged the last 5 before my cool down.

So, I figured... If I can do 26 min on the treadmill, I should be able to do 20 outside on the trail. So, I started with my 1/2 mile (7 minute) warmup through the neighborhood. Then, I started jogging. I kept going... and going... and going... and going! When I got to my turn around spot, I had made it 19 minutes and 40 seconds! I had been fighting a pretty good side pain for a few minutes, so I started walking a few seconds early. I walked for 3 minutes and 20 seconds and then started jogging again. I ended up jogging a little over 15 minutes before I hit the neighborhood again, which ends up being right about 3.1 miles! It ended up being 42 minutes to complete the 5K, and I only had to walk 3 minutes of it! Next week, I'm going to go 25 minutes before I stop to walk, and I'll try to cut it down to a 2 minute walk before starting up again.

Someone asked me how quickly I want to finish the 5K. My goal? To finish it! I really want to run the whole thing, and right now, I know that that's doable. I'm just praying that it won't be extremely hot or humid that morning. It starts at 8:00, so it *shouldn't* be too bad yet.

Weekly Weigh In

Granted, I weighed in first thing in the morning, without eating breakfast... But, I showed a .2 lb gain. I know that, if I had been at home, weighing in at my normal time, I would be up at least 1 lb. It was just one of those weeks... And I'm okay with that! That's what Lifetime is about, right? Making it work for me.

The leader, Ann, at this particular meeting was wonderful! I love Leah, our leader at home, and now I know when we visit Mom, we have to come see Ann! The best part? She has a blog: The Hungry Poodle. I added it to my list of blogs to follow, but feel free to check her out. She just posted a recipe for fish tacos that sounds AWESOME! She was very motivating in the meeting, and I'm excited to start reading her blog regularly!

The Challenge!

As a recap... The first week, we aimed for 3 different colors each day. The second week (last week), we filled half of our plate with vegetables or fruit....
And this week.....
Try at least one new fruit or vegetable every day.

David and I eat so many veggies and fruits already. We buy a big variety of things, although we have our favorites. So, if we can't find totally new things to try, we think if we do fruits or veggies that aren't "normal," we could count that. Right? David has only had rhubarb in pies, so I think that's going to be in one meal at some point this week.. And we may explore with squash, something we've both had in the past, but never prepared in a HEALTHY way!

So, how did you do this week with filling your plate up? And... What new fruit or vegetable are you going to try? Give me some ideas or suggestions!

Part 2 - Challenge

Tonight was Weigh In, so I got the 2nd part of the challenge... But, first, you have to read my ramblings! Enjoy!

Life

David's mom was in the hospital this week. Monday morning, she woke up and her heart was racing. And by racing, I mean OVER 200 beats! When the medics got there, they had trouble finding her blood pressure. They got her heart rate calmed back down, but then she started "throwing" weird rhythms. Even the ER doctor didn't know WHAT the rhythm was. So, she spent Monday, Tuesday, and today in the hospital. She had a heart cath done yesterday, which showed "normal functioning" with the same blockages she had 5 years ago - way down deep in the branches. It's safer to just leave them alone than to try to break it up. But, the overall health of her heart isn't that great.

She came home today, and boy was she ready! She's still very tired, and since nobody in her house will help her... I get the job while David is working. I took them to dinner tonight and will cook dinner tomorrow night. She should be okay lunch wise - she has a few left overs from last night and frozen pizza she can heat up if she needs to.

I had some blood work done this week because I've had no energy. I haven't even WANTED to exercise, which is unusual for me. I can usually be a little tired but still want to work out, and then have energy afterwards! The last couple weeks - nope! David has had to DRAG my butt to the gym to do even 1/2 of my normal workout. All my blood work came back normal, so my doctor wants to do a sleep study. I'm waiting for them to call and set it up.


Fertility

We got some news this week. I'm scared. David's labs came back. Basically, his testosterone and estrogen levels are reversed - he has very low testosterone and very high estrogen. His semen analysis was also not good. Good volume but low count. Also, it says that he had 0% motility, which is worse than it was last year. And, the count was so low that they could not tell how the morphology was, but we know that's off from last year's analysis.

So, he called his new urologist, the one that we had so much hope in, and he said that he can't help David at this point. Right now, his physiological needs are more important than the fertility needs. The levels of estrogen in his body are DANGEROUS for him, as is the testosterone. It may even explain some of his struggles to lose weight in the past. So, he said David need to see an Endocronologist.....

His family doctor is also a licensed Endocronologist. So, we have an appointment to see him on Tuesday. The Urologist recommended a specific drug (I can't remember the name of it) that is used in women to treat breast cancer. Basically, it should lower the estrogen, which will then raise the testosterone. We don't want David to be on an actual testosterone supplement because that will hurt the sperm that ARE there!

We'll know more on Tuesday, but we are both scared. We know that adoption is a definite option for us. We will not do donor sperm (our own personal reasons), but adoption is there... But, why do things have to be so difficult?? I'm trying not to be angry, to not blame people who aren't to blame, to still be happy for friends who are pregnant, for friends/family who have children... But, you know what? Sometimes, I just can't be! Every time we turn around, we are getting more bad news with every doctor, every month that goes by.... When will OUR miracle be here?????

Weight Loss

Onto a happier subject.... Tonight was weigh in! I lost 3.8 lbs this week! I am down to 183.4! I can't believe it!!!! I'm a stress eater, and hospital food is not exactly healthy. Yes, the salad bar is, but the pecan roll or the slice of sausage/mushroom pizza I had yesterday WERE NOT so healthy. As a running total... I am down 68.8 lbs! I keep thinking: If I carried all of my dogs all at once, I would be carrying the body weight that I had 18 months ago!

David was up a little. He realized something this week: How important tracking is. His phone died a few days ago, and that's how he tracks what he eats. He hasn't had it for a week, so hasn't tracked his points. He's not a "writer," so he was keeping points mentally. Well, mental points + your mom in the hospital + your wife being crazy psycho for a few days + overal, general stress = a gain. He got his phone back yesterday, so things will be better next week!

This Week's Challenge

Last week's veggie & fruit challenge was to get 3 different colors each day. How did you do?? Writing down, I realize I stick to "comfortable" colors, or maybe just "comfortable" fruits/veggies. But, I did throw some different colors in throughout the week.

So, this week, we are building on that... Get 3 different colors a day (or even shoot for each meal!) AND fill half of our plate with fruits and veggies EVERY SINGLE MEAL. Not just once a day, or once this week - but every meal. Can you do it??? We talked about the proportions of a plate - 1/4 should be your protein; 1/4 grains; 1/2 veggies/fruits. This is how it should ALWAYS be. Not just for our challenge. But, that is what Weight Watchers is doing - teaching us to incorporate more fruits and veggies into our lives!

I went to farmer's market today and picked up tons of veggies and it only cost me $19! I got corn, green beans, blueberries, new potatoes, yellow and green zucchini, and cucumbers. Yummy! Tomorrow I'm going to try a Green Monster smoothie for breakfast. I'm using peanut butter for protein (and an oil!) and a banana for my fruit. I figured out it will be 6 points if I drink the entire thing. BUT it should keep me satisfied for most - if not all - of the morning!

Well... I guess that's about it for my update. I know.. lots of random stuff but things that I needed to get off of my chest. Thanks for listening. Let me know how you are doing with the fruits & veggies challenge!

Adventures in Wine Land

Welcome to Adventures in Wine Land! David and I were lucky enough to both have today off, so we took a little trip.... They were doing a Grillin' with Iowa Wines weekend. We got lots of food and gifts along the way, and had a blast! We made it to all 7 wineries and bought several bottles of wine.

If you are a "local" reading my blog - you HAVE to check out these wineries. They are awesome! All of the people are so friendly and love to talk. And in Iowa, the tastings are free! :-)

Sugar Clay
They served a blackberry cobbler and ice cream with their Blackberry Mead. Yummy! We sampled their III Vines and brought a bottle of that home.

King's Crossing
We have been to King's Crossing before and loved it. They were serving a BBQ chicken leg, paired with their new Edelweiss. They also served a brownie with fresh strawberries, paired with their White St. Croix. We didn't get a bottle of wine because we go see them fairly often. :-)

Prairie Crossing
We have had several of their wines, but never been to the winery. Their facilities are really nice and the people are great! They served a BBQ beef sandwich with the Frontenac. They also had sharp cheddar cheese, served with Windswept White. We also tasted the Wagon Trail Red (a little dry for me, but good), Kit Cat (have a bottle but haven't tried it yet - yum!), and Cardinal Red (YUM!). We took a bottle of the Cardinal Red home.

Whispering Hills
The people at Whispering Hills were AWESOME! It almost felt like "home" when we walked in. They had smoked turkey and glazed corn on the cob with their brand new Skinny Dippin'. #1 - LOVE the name of the wine! #2 - the corn was marinated in honey and a little hot sauce. We are doing this the next time we get corn! They also made an apple crumble with pomegranate glaze that they served with their Edelweiss - and we got the recipe for this! We tried their Concord, Catawba, Traminette, Moondance (which we've had before), and Serendipity. They also made a Sangria with the Concord, lemon, lime, orange, and Sierra Mist. Yummy! We took home a bottle of Catawba.

Side note: if you are counting, that's 3 bottles of wine so far. David said "maybe we'll get 1 from somewhere." Hee hee hee :-)

Back to the regularly scheduled program....

Breezy Hills
We were served stuffed pork and a chocolate chip cookie. They served it with St. Croix. We also tried the LaCrosse, Tres Hermanas, Misbehavin', Vignoles, and Edelweiss. We took home a bottle of Misbehavin' and something fun for me:


Yep! David got me this super cool shirt! I mentioned when I came in that it was very "me." When he got the bottle of Misbehavin', he got me my shirt also! Love it!

Danish Countryside
This was the farthest out winery... It took us about 30 minutes to get there, but it was very worth it! They served BBQ Beef and let us choose which red we paired it with. I tried the Sweet Caroline and David had the Countryside Red. I loved, loved, loved the Sweet Caroline! David liked it okay, but he liked the Countryside Red (I didn't like it as much). They also made pineapple upside down cake and served it with Twilight White, which was good. We tried several of their wines also. The Maid of the Harbor was similar to a riesling, and good. David and I both really liked the Classy Lady and their fruit wine, Pretty Belle Peach. Those BOTH got to come home with us. Current bottle count: 6!


Loess Hills
This was the last stop on our tour.. I had been here a few years ago, but David had never been. We went in and tried a few wines first, and then had the food. We tried the Rivers Mist (dryer), Sunset Blush, Blonzy Bell Blush, Edelweiss, September Sweet, and Vignoles. Their Vignoles was AWESOME, so we got a bottle of that.

They served pulled pork and italian sausage with SBR (Sneaky Bastard Red). A little dry, but paired VERY well with the pork. They also had really AWESOME watermelon with their Loess Hills Blanc.

We had a BLAST today! We ended up with 7 - yes 7 - bottles of wine! We came home, made Buffalo Chicken Pasta (recipe to come), peach cobbler, and opened the bottle of the Pretty Belle Peach from Danish Countryside!

Now we're relaxing, watching Mall Cop. Hillarious movie! Anyways... That recipe will be on here tomorrow. Tonight, I'm relaxing with the hubby. I'm also trying to get my MP3 player charged so I can go for a run in the morning.

Weekend Recap and Randomness

4th of July Weekend! Can you believe we're already into July?? I report back to work on August 11 - EEK!!

Anyways... The weekend recap...

Friday - I worked at the flower shop. We thought we'd get out early, but Pam had a late bridal appointment. She let the 2 designer's go home and had me stay. We were going to leave at 4:00, after the appointment. All of a sudden we got BUSY! WTF?? So, we were there until 5:00.

I babysat for one of our "old" designer's - she just recently "retired" so that she can have days with her boyfriend and his daughter. Sharon is such a sweet girl. David's parents wanted to take us to dinner, so she got to go with us. It was amazing to watch David with her. He is such a natural - encouraged her to eat, stay in her chair, etc.. She's pretty shy, and by the end of the night she was talking to him and laughing with him.

Saturday, we went down to my mom's. She belongs to a LARGE church. I've been here before, but I seriously feel like I'm in a high school gymnasium or college lecture hall - not a church. The band is really loud, and for a while, I felt like I was at a freaking concert! It didn't feel like a church to me. But, whatever...

Mom took us to Mexican afterwards. I was a little upset about this because David's stomach is still iffy - some things bother him, and others don't. We tried to look at the menu before leaving for church and she got upset. "We need to go! What are you doing? I told you there are healthy options here." Okay, but I want to see them. I want to know what I'm going to have. I want to prepare - one of the big Weight Watcher principles!

I think I did pretty well. We did get cheese dip, but I didn't eat too many. I had 2 shrimp tacos, about 1/2 the black beans that was served, and maybe 1/4 of the rice. I was full! When we got back, David and I decided we wanted to go for a walk. Mom has a nature trail that runs behind her house. Again, she got annoyed because we wanted to go run - she wanted to go for a nice, leisurely walk. It was my day to run anyways, so we just told her we're going.

I took David's pace because I was in unfamiliar territory and we had an awesome time! I am so proud of him - he is working so hard to make up for lost time from his surgery. He's still planning on doing the 5K in August, and is working so hard for it! We watched fireworks for a little bit and then headed to bed.

Sunday, we had to go to a family reunion. I wasn't too excited about the reunion, but Mom really wanted us to come down and David thought it would be fun to meet family. Well, there were 5 younger mom's there. It was really tough. Then, mom started ooh-ing and ahh-ing over my cousin who had the first biological grandchild 7 months ago. She talked more about the California relatives than she did my sister or I. I don't think I heard her say my niece, Emma's, name once. She talked about David and I like we weren't in the room, and when people tried to talk to us, she jumped in and interrupted.

David has a new mission: to get me knocked up! He's taking tons of vitamins to try to bring all the numbers up. He's having some blood work done as a baseline... He needs to talk to the urologist to see if he can take Clomid with the vitamins he's taking. We're hoping to do an IUI in October. I'm also going to see my OB next week for my yearly (whoopee!) and discuss a few things. I'm wondering if my progesterone levels are low, so I'm going to see about getting that tested.

I'm setting up a new workout plan to make sure I meet my goals this month. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are my running day. I'll either go on the trail, the track, or the gym depending on how hot it is (and what time of day I'm going). Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday I'm going to do toning or strength training. I'll be doing videos at home or going the gym for circuit/ab work... Saturdays are my day off because I'm always exhausted after the shop!

If you've read through this, kudos to you! I know it's probably long, but you know me and my rambling! I hope you all have a wonderful week! I'm working at the shop a few days and still working on deep cleaning the house!

Famous quotes that have touched my life this week

A picture is worth a thousand words.

And for once, I believe "they" are right:




This skirt is obviously too big for me, right? Well, guess what - I used to WEAR this skirt on a regular basis. In fact, I wore it on my first date with David, and when we had pictures taken on our first anniversary. It was a size 22W. David argued with me about whether or not I had ever been that big. I said, "David, I have proof!" And I grabbed one of our anniversary pictures. He still can't believe it!

We are doing a garage sale in a few weeks, so my closet has been cleaned out. I went from a very full closet to 3 pairs of slacks (1 is too big, but not *super* big), and a handful of tops (again, some are a little big, but not tent-like). So, this garage sale is now being called Rebuild Amanda's Closet Sale! We're putting other stuff in, also, but David and I are both needing new clothes. I especially need them for work in the fall.

This is the outfit, including jean skirt, that I was able to wear Friday night:

This was a Size 12 jean skirt from Penny's that is dressy enough I can wear it at work if I want, or I can dress it down for date night. The top was a Calvin Klein medium from Burlington Coat Factory!

2 plus 2 doesn't always equal 4
The other morning, I started wondering if I should REALLY be teaching America's future leaders! I was on my morning run, and had decided to do things a little differently. Usually I would run 4 minutes, walk 1 1/2 minutes, and repeat the entire time. Well, by the end I'm dying! Praying that the stopwatch would just say the next number, right?

Well, Sunday morning, I decided to do intervals of running 3, 5, or 8 minutes and walking 2. I was able to complete 2 "circults" of this before getting home. As I'm doing my second 8 minutes - having a really tough time because it's starting to warm up and I've been out for 45 minutes at this point.... When I started running, I glanced at the stopwatch and it was at 41:00. So, I know I have to go until 49:00. 48:00 and I stop running. I started walking, recovering, and literally said to myself "Wait a minute. 41+8=49, not 48. DUH!" And picked it back up for the last minute. Oops! But, regardless, I had a great run! I'm going to the gym in the morning unless it's considerably cooler when I wake up. I'm hoping to run a straight mile, and then do intervals for the rest!

Are you eating because you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?

This is a quote that I hear relatively often with Weight Watchers. And yet, after 17 months and 66 lbs gone, I still have trouble with this. Last week, I gained 3.4 lbs. I'm still under goal, but it was really an eye opener. I guess I had hit a point where I didn't think that I ate for stress anymore. I knew I ate for boredom, but veggies could usually satisfy me. But with all the added stress from the last few weeks, I've realized that I am STILL an emotional eater. And I probably always will be. I need to work through this. I need to get up and exercise, walk the dogs, get online, drink some water, take a nap, do something in the garden... SOMETHING, ANYTHING, besides EATING!

I'm also re-identifying my trigger foods. My mother-in-law tries really hard to understand what Weight Watchers is about. But, now, she has taken it too far. Instead of saying "Well, that's not on your diet," it's "well you said you can eat anything you want!" Okay, you're right. But in moderation. And I don't eat trigger foods - chips and dip - because it leads to major binging! But, she doesn't get that, and then makes me feel guilty for not eating any. Then, my anxiety gets going because she's upset with me, and I'm dealing with all the family drama and other stuff, and....... I pop to jar of dip and the bag of chips and dig in. Now, I wasn't the only one to eat, but the jar was empty within 45 minutes. Oops!

It will happen when it happens
Seriously. If one more flipping person tells me that we will get pregnant "in God's time," I am going to SCREAM. And I'm going to rip them a new one. Then, they say "Well, you can't POSSIBLY want a pregnancy right now with everything that is going on????" Um, well, yeah, actually. I do. Thanks for being so thoughtful.

David's mom's neighbor is pregnant again. She has a 6 month old and lives off of disability and medicaid. Her husband works, but doesn't make much. They get so much aide it makes me sick. Why can SHE get pregnant, but David and I can't?

What upsets me is that people who know me well are "scared" to talk to me about fertility. They don't want to upset me. But, then, I found out in a difficult situation - they say "Did you hear I'm pregnant?" OH GREAT! (insert fake smile and walk away from situation) Now, don't get me wrong - babies are a blessing. And if you are in a stable relationship, making decent money, and able to raise your child on your own, I'm happy for you. Yeah, it makes me a little sad that it's not me. But, congratulations! Now, don't make me listen to every single little detail about it, please.

Well, I think that's it for the quotes... Hope you enjoyed the different style! There were just so many things that I wanted to talk about, so I thought this was the best way to do it!

On the baby front...

In response to someone's post, I wanted to touch base on the baby making front. I haven't posted much about it lately because, honestly, there hasn't been much to post.

It kills me to say this, but we are still where we were 2 years ago. Not pregnant. David saw a new urologist last week and we are sending him all of David's results from everything over the last 2 years. He said that he will prescribe Clomid as soon as he gets the results. We are still hoping for an October IUI.

On my front... I need to call the insurance company. Because I hit my out of pocket max with my surgery in February, I want to see if a few tests would be covered. I ovulate late and have a short luteal phase - the time between ovulation and when my period starts. It should be 12-14 days, but mine is 8 days; 10 if I'm lucky. Dr. K says that when we do an IUI that I'll be on Clomid, and then my LP will probably "extend" itself. But, it could be a progesterone problem. And, that would be bad! I had blood work done last year and everything is good on that front - no clotting factors or anything else that could impact me getting pregnant.

But, while we're waiting..... David and I have made a big decision. We are starting the process to become foster parents. We've both had experiences with the system in the past - his nephew; one of my tutoring cases... We have a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house and there is absolutely no reason we can't share it with kids who need a home. We know that most cases will only be temporary. Iowa "prides" itself in reuniting families. Sometimes this is good; sometimes this is bad. But that's a whole other post for another day....... But, we have filled out all the paperwork. We are going to get fingerprinted tomorrow, and then we have an "informational orientation" tomorrow evening. The paperwork says that it can take 6-8 weeks to get everything back, but it can sometimes be quicker. If we are approved, then we will go through a 10-week training, and then we will be licensed foster care parents!

Yes, we are still going to keep trying to get pregnant. We have always talked about helping kids - fostering, adopting, anything we can do. It's just who we are - someday, we want to buy a huge acreage and have room for tons and tons of kids - biological and adopted! We are keeping an eye out on Craigs list and garage sales for furniture. We have a twin bed but we need a dresser. We'd like to find another twin bed so that if my mom comes to town, she has a place to sleep also!

Sometimes, I think that I'm giving up hope that we will ever have our own children. It's so hard for me to work in the area of town that I work in - these "parents" (and I use the term loosely) can look at a man and get pregnant. They don't even raise the children they have - they don't make the decisions that are best for their child. They bring them to school drunk or high, live off of the system, don't work, don't set rules for their children... and then they get pregnant again, and the cycle continues.....

I believe in God. I do. I believe that He knows what's best for us. And I know that we will have a baby when it is our time. It seems like everytime I turn around, somebody else is announcing their pregnancy. Babies are a blessing, but damn it, I want MY blessing. And then I feel guilty because I know I should blame God, or be mad at Him, for us not being pregnant. He knows the big picture - not me. And supposedly, He won't hand me more than I can handle. But, I've handled alot. And I'm ready to "handle" a baby. I'm ready to grow our family -- I would love for David's mom to meet our son or daughter. Not her first grand child, but her first by David. But I know that we need to get pregnant sooner than later for that to happen. And that pressure scares me. I may not always get along with the woman, but she loves us, and she will spoil our baby rotten!!!!

Anyways... enogh of the emotional shit. David is recovering nicely from surgery. On Thursday night, though, he started having problems breathing. We went to the ER on Friday evening, and they admitted him for a possible blood clot. Turns out, it wasn't a blood clot! He has Pluracy, which can lead to Pneumonia. The lower lobes in both of his lungs are kind of collapsing on themselves, making it difficult and painful to breath. He has an inhaler and is using something called an incentive spirometer - it makes him take really really deep breaths. He's also on stronger pain meds and is feeling better. His follow up appointment showed improvement, and his doctor thinks he should be okay to return to work after his surgeon appointment on the 30th.

My dad had a colonoscopy today. It's routine for him - in fact, I had one last year - our family history is so high that we have them regularly. Dr. S cleared Dad for 5 years!!! I was SO excited! It's usually 2-3 years; for a while it was every 6 months. So, here is me on my soap box: if you are older, or have a family history of colon cancer, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get routine colonoscopies! The prep sucks, but the procedure is super easy - in and out in 30 minutes. Colonoscopies save lives. My grandparents and my uncle all passed away from colon cancer. My uncle could have been treated if they had caught it soon enough. I think about him everyday, and wish he could have been at my wedding in person rather than in spirit.

I think that's it for ramblings. If you are the praying type - please say a prayer for us for the foster care "thing." We are very excited and hoping that we will be approved and can provide a loving home to many, many children. A pregnancy would be nice too - how about we take both! :-)

Weekly Update and Weigh In

Well, another week has passed....

David had his gall bladder out yesterday. The surgery went well and remained laproscopic! He was in a fair amount of pain after the surgery, but today feels a little better. He even went to weigh in with me! He didn't weigh, but he wanted to hear the meeting and see me........
.....
.....
.....
Lose 4 lbs!!!!!!!! This was my last weigh in of maintenance and somehow - I don't know how - I lost 4 lbs this week! I ate ALL of my daily points, ALL of my weekly "extras," and MOST of my activity points!

All I had to do was keep between 188 and 192. I'm sitting at 186 right now! I am officially a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers! I have lost 66.2 lbs and it's NEVER coming back!!!!!

My heart rate monitor came on Monday. I took it out for calibration on Monday night, and then for a 4 MILE walk/jog before we had to head to the hospital for David's surgery. It was really exciting to keep an eye on my heart rate and see how many calories I burned (567 in 59 minutes!).

I have 2 recipes I need to post about: Chicken and Rice Casserole and Black Bean & Sweet Potato Chili. Both yummy, both easy! I'm hoping to make another soup tomorrow night - Greek Lentil Soup. I wanted easy stuff for David this week. His mom is "babysitting" while I'm working and she has a tendency to not eat healthy. So, easy left overs it is! :-)

That's about all I have for the night. It's been a busy week, and a very exciting night! Oh, and I need to tell you all thank you so much for your support. Even if we've never met, your inspiration in your blogs, your encouraging words in comments.... Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

My tastes in life are changing....

I made a decision today: Either I'm getting old, or my tastes are changing! Why, you ask? I'm making this conclusion based off of several "facts" from the last few weeks.

Fact #1: Birthday gifts
I got EXCITED about getting clothes, a bathroom scale, and a Heart Rate Monitor! Seriously! Who does this besides the old people? Only a few years ago, I was asking for fun stuff: books, games, alcohol, clothes (but to totally different stores).

Then, I see my dad for my birthday breakfast today. And, he gives me this:

And I got even more excited!!!! David and I had thought about getting this exact scale when I get my summer school check! I LOVE it!!!

Fact #2: Food choices
I found another yummy "thing" to throw on salads. I'm not a huge fan of tuna, but a friend of mine introduced me to these:

I've now eaten it on a piece of toast, on crackers, and.... on top of a salad! It was a perfect, low point, protein to a big salad! I've had the Mango Chipotle and the Tomato Pesto. David loves them also! They are now a "requirement" in our cabinets!

Fact #3: Trying to get healthy choices
I have the joy of inheriting my mom's sinus problems. I get sinus infections 2-3 times a year. The last couple years, I've avoided getting more than 1 a year. This year, the season has started early. I started with allergies, then got a cold, and now I'm fighting the sinus infection. My sister, and several other people, told me about this:

It looks complicated, but it really isn't. Lukewarm water, dump a packet of solution in, shake. Bend over, stick the end of the pot in your nose and let it do it's magic. Eventually, the water will start to run out your other nostril. Doesn't it sound yummy? I get it down my throat every once in a while, which that does NOT taste good. Then you blow your nose, and do it on the other side.

But, the big thing: it works! The pressure in my head is starting to go down a little bit. I'm able to blow stuff out for an hour or two after I do the pot. It's great!!! David laughs at me because I've taken to saying "I need to do my pot."

I know this was all totally random. But it's amazing how life has changed in the last few years! Things that never, ever mattered matter now. Things that I thought "You're crazy if you own" I WANT. I LOVE. Things that I thought were gross, I purchase, and use 2-3 times a day!

Anyways... look for some yummy new recipes coming up! I haven't done any for a while, and we've had quite a few yummy things! Plus, we're doing a BBQ this weekend, and Saturday is food day at work. I'm debating which recipe to take for that. David's surgery is Tuesday, so please say a prayer. He's pretty nervous and stressed about everything. He needs all the prayers he can get.

Birthday Clothes!

Tuesday was my birthday and David spoiled me rotten with dinner! My mom sent me some birthday money and made me promise to use it on something fun! My grandparents also sent me some money, so I had that also.

First, we went to Kohl's and I didn't really see anything that I liked. I really wanted a swim suit, and found one on Penny's website. So, we went there next. And here is what I got:
2 shirts I can wear at work: (The pictures aren't the best - it's dark in the house, and David was taking them at a weird angle)


And 2 fun summer shirts:


(This is my favorite buy of the night)



(Sorry about the tag)

And.... I got a 2 piece swim suit! I got a tankini because I just wasn't ready for a bikini. Although, I did make progress - I tried one on! Maybe it was the style, but I knew there was no way I would be comfortable in it. So, I got this instead:


As for my grandparents' money... We got this:

It was more than I was planning on, but David "chipped in" the extra money because he wanted all the extra "fun" stuff.

Oh, and David's present to me??

Yep! I'm getting a Heart Rate Monitor!!! The puppies helped me pick the pink one (versus green). It comes with the transmitter (a $30-40 value), free shipping, and no tax! It should be here Monday or Tuesday!

Overall, it was a great birthday! Even after a really, really unhealthy day, I still lost .4 lbs for the week. I have one more week of maintenance and then I'm officially Lifetime! I got the 3 month journal that I'll use to manually track. That and my new HRM, and I'll be able to keep this weight off. I'm considering losing a few more lbs - 5, maybe 10...?

Anyways! Awesome day, awesome shopping spree... Awesome week!

Walk down memory lane...

Today, David and I are celebrating our 2nd anniversary! I can't believe it's been that long - it seems like just yesterday we were planning our wedding. And now, we're celebrating another anniversary!

So, in honor of today, here is a picture journey of our years together.......
David and I had our first date on August 27, 2005. A week or two later, he invited me to watch him race.


Fast forward to Aug 27, 2006... for Christmas, David had asked for professional pictures. It took 8 months, but we finally had some pictures taken!


A month later (September 30), David popped the question. He totally surprised me by saying that it was somebody's birthday and we were doing a surprise party. He said it was "dressy," so he'd take advantage and get a cheap limo for the fun of it and take me to a nice dinner. Yes, I bought it hook line and sinker. After dinner at Vivace's, we went to the Lewis and Clark Monument. I knew he was planning on proposing sometime, but didn't know when. As we're standing on the outlook, watching planes land, he says... "I wish your ring had come by now." I said "It's okay. I love you and will wait for the rest of my life for you." He said, "The ring came early so turn around." As I turned around I realized he was down on one knee. He asked me to be his wife and spend the rest of his life with me. I was shaking so bad that I had to put the ring on myself and could barely say yes! We got great pictures thanks to the limo driver.

Oh, and the birthday party? It was a surprise engagement party! David is awesome.

The weekend after David proposed, we went to my sister and brother-in-law's wedding reception. They eloped on St. Patrick's Day, and were celebrating their wedding with family and friends on October 5.


We started planning our wedding - for Oct 6. I wanted a big, fall wedding. As fall turned to winter, winter turned to spring.... Well, everything seemed to go wrong. I had friends and family arguing with me and fighting with each other about what was "right" for OUR wedding. David made the comment one day "we should just elope." I said no. He said "then let's move the wedding up." No. I want my fall wedding. 2 weeks later, on May 1, I told David "I want to move the wedding up. I'm calling the photographer today to see when he's available in June." June 1 was it!

We planned an outside wedding - at the gazebo in Carter Lake, where we lived. It was going to be perfect! We had a backup plan of the methodist church if the weather got bad. Well, the day of the wedding, storms were "questionable" and as the morning progressed, it was getting pretty dark in the West. We made the call to move it indoors to the church. The rain? We had LITERALLY 5 raindrops all day. The church was perfect, though, for our 60 guests. And we were able to go to a park for pictures! Sorry for the multitude of pictures - I just love them all, and had trouble narrowing them down! And they are in no particular order - Blogger adds things weird!













Married life was great! We spent the weekend going to the zoo with family, a bed and breakfast Bed and Breakfast, and a winery. The first year flew by! We celebrated our first anniversary with the B&B again and a few wineries around Grand Island.

This spring, we had pictures taken. David loves to ask for professional pictures, so I think that's just going to be his new "standing" Christmas present.




Life continues to pass us by... I keep thinking one of these days it will slow down, but then again, I don't want it to. I love life. I love my husband. I love everything that we have. We are so blessed. And everyday, I fall more and more in love with him.

And finally, if you made it through this, I applaud you! Here are two final pictures - both from this weekend. One at the mansion, and one at a winery.

Anniversary Weekend

Tomorrow marks our 2nd anniversary. This time 2 years ago, I was getting my nails done and freaking out about how much I had to get done still! I was up until 2:00 in the morning doing last minute stuff... And, in looking back, none of it mattered! But, I thought it did at the time.

Every year, David and I have marked our anniversary by visiting wineries across Nebraska and always going to a special Bed and Breakfast. So, if you are bored, here's a weekend in review - complete with links, pics, and reviews of places!

We went to Soaring Wings in Springfield. My favorite was the Winter White, their dryest semi-sweet. David's favorite was the Falco Red, a semi-sweet red.

Next, we visited Windcrest Winery in Raymond. This is his first year open, but you cannot tell that by the taste of his wines! We took a bottle of the Crest Select (semi-sweet) and Cherry Delight (a semi-sweet cherry wine) home. If you have a little bit of chocolate in your mouth when you drink the Cherry Delight, it makes it taste like chocolate covered cherries! Yummy! And because he is a newer winery, he will actually let you try all of his wines - dryest to sweetest for the same price. He just gives you slightly smaller portions than the other wineries do for only 5 tastings. But, so worth it!

After Windcrest, we checked in at The Anniversary Mansion. Two years ago, David surprised me with staying here the night after our wedding. We have made it a tradition to come every year and have now stayed in 3 of the 4 rooms. Dave is an awesome host and his employees are fabulous! As always, we are looking forward to going back next year!

Before settling in for the night, we dressed up

and headed to Misty's. As if we hadn't had enough wine already, we ordered a bottle of the Riesling. We had the portabello mushroom appetizer. I had the Salmon Choe and David ordered the Petite Prime Rib. Both were delicious!

We headed back to the mansion for the night and enjoyed an awesome breakfast! The jacuzzi tub was nice and relaxing, and the bed was SO flipping comfortable! I told David I want to steal it.

We left the Mansion and headed for the zoo! We haven't been since the weekend of our wedding - we went with family the day after - so it was a nice break. We went to the store beforehand and got stuff for sandwiches. The one thing we didn't do that I wanted to was the Butterfly Pavillion. But, we have a zoo pass and plan to go back next week. The animals were feeling lazy, but it was the perfect day and we had a blast. (All the walking and hills provided great exercise also!)









After the zoo, we decided to finish our weekend with another winery! I won a bet last night, so David owed me another bottle of wine. We went to our favorite tasting room, Too Far North, in Ft. Calhoun. Sandy is always awesome and can pin your tastes perfectly! We tried a few new ones, and I actually liked a dry red! Yes, I, Amanda, liked a dry red! We brought home a bottle of a wine from Hartington, NE (Northeast Nebraska Winery - they aren't on our tour, though). They have an outlaw "series," complete with history on the bottle! I loved the Sam Bass (the dry red), but we bought a bottle of Jesse James (semi-sweet red).

We headed home, made dinner, and played with our puppies! Oh, and had a glass of wine (of course!). We had a great weekend relaxing and enjoying ourselves. Tomorrow starts a new week. It's my first day with kids for summer school. Hopefully the 14 days go by quickly! Look for tomorrow's post.... a blast from the past!