Famous quotes that have touched my life this week

A picture is worth a thousand words.

And for once, I believe "they" are right:




This skirt is obviously too big for me, right? Well, guess what - I used to WEAR this skirt on a regular basis. In fact, I wore it on my first date with David, and when we had pictures taken on our first anniversary. It was a size 22W. David argued with me about whether or not I had ever been that big. I said, "David, I have proof!" And I grabbed one of our anniversary pictures. He still can't believe it!

We are doing a garage sale in a few weeks, so my closet has been cleaned out. I went from a very full closet to 3 pairs of slacks (1 is too big, but not *super* big), and a handful of tops (again, some are a little big, but not tent-like). So, this garage sale is now being called Rebuild Amanda's Closet Sale! We're putting other stuff in, also, but David and I are both needing new clothes. I especially need them for work in the fall.

This is the outfit, including jean skirt, that I was able to wear Friday night:

This was a Size 12 jean skirt from Penny's that is dressy enough I can wear it at work if I want, or I can dress it down for date night. The top was a Calvin Klein medium from Burlington Coat Factory!

2 plus 2 doesn't always equal 4
The other morning, I started wondering if I should REALLY be teaching America's future leaders! I was on my morning run, and had decided to do things a little differently. Usually I would run 4 minutes, walk 1 1/2 minutes, and repeat the entire time. Well, by the end I'm dying! Praying that the stopwatch would just say the next number, right?

Well, Sunday morning, I decided to do intervals of running 3, 5, or 8 minutes and walking 2. I was able to complete 2 "circults" of this before getting home. As I'm doing my second 8 minutes - having a really tough time because it's starting to warm up and I've been out for 45 minutes at this point.... When I started running, I glanced at the stopwatch and it was at 41:00. So, I know I have to go until 49:00. 48:00 and I stop running. I started walking, recovering, and literally said to myself "Wait a minute. 41+8=49, not 48. DUH!" And picked it back up for the last minute. Oops! But, regardless, I had a great run! I'm going to the gym in the morning unless it's considerably cooler when I wake up. I'm hoping to run a straight mile, and then do intervals for the rest!

Are you eating because you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?

This is a quote that I hear relatively often with Weight Watchers. And yet, after 17 months and 66 lbs gone, I still have trouble with this. Last week, I gained 3.4 lbs. I'm still under goal, but it was really an eye opener. I guess I had hit a point where I didn't think that I ate for stress anymore. I knew I ate for boredom, but veggies could usually satisfy me. But with all the added stress from the last few weeks, I've realized that I am STILL an emotional eater. And I probably always will be. I need to work through this. I need to get up and exercise, walk the dogs, get online, drink some water, take a nap, do something in the garden... SOMETHING, ANYTHING, besides EATING!

I'm also re-identifying my trigger foods. My mother-in-law tries really hard to understand what Weight Watchers is about. But, now, she has taken it too far. Instead of saying "Well, that's not on your diet," it's "well you said you can eat anything you want!" Okay, you're right. But in moderation. And I don't eat trigger foods - chips and dip - because it leads to major binging! But, she doesn't get that, and then makes me feel guilty for not eating any. Then, my anxiety gets going because she's upset with me, and I'm dealing with all the family drama and other stuff, and....... I pop to jar of dip and the bag of chips and dig in. Now, I wasn't the only one to eat, but the jar was empty within 45 minutes. Oops!

It will happen when it happens
Seriously. If one more flipping person tells me that we will get pregnant "in God's time," I am going to SCREAM. And I'm going to rip them a new one. Then, they say "Well, you can't POSSIBLY want a pregnancy right now with everything that is going on????" Um, well, yeah, actually. I do. Thanks for being so thoughtful.

David's mom's neighbor is pregnant again. She has a 6 month old and lives off of disability and medicaid. Her husband works, but doesn't make much. They get so much aide it makes me sick. Why can SHE get pregnant, but David and I can't?

What upsets me is that people who know me well are "scared" to talk to me about fertility. They don't want to upset me. But, then, I found out in a difficult situation - they say "Did you hear I'm pregnant?" OH GREAT! (insert fake smile and walk away from situation) Now, don't get me wrong - babies are a blessing. And if you are in a stable relationship, making decent money, and able to raise your child on your own, I'm happy for you. Yeah, it makes me a little sad that it's not me. But, congratulations! Now, don't make me listen to every single little detail about it, please.

Well, I think that's it for the quotes... Hope you enjoyed the different style! There were just so many things that I wanted to talk about, so I thought this was the best way to do it!

On the baby front...

In response to someone's post, I wanted to touch base on the baby making front. I haven't posted much about it lately because, honestly, there hasn't been much to post.

It kills me to say this, but we are still where we were 2 years ago. Not pregnant. David saw a new urologist last week and we are sending him all of David's results from everything over the last 2 years. He said that he will prescribe Clomid as soon as he gets the results. We are still hoping for an October IUI.

On my front... I need to call the insurance company. Because I hit my out of pocket max with my surgery in February, I want to see if a few tests would be covered. I ovulate late and have a short luteal phase - the time between ovulation and when my period starts. It should be 12-14 days, but mine is 8 days; 10 if I'm lucky. Dr. K says that when we do an IUI that I'll be on Clomid, and then my LP will probably "extend" itself. But, it could be a progesterone problem. And, that would be bad! I had blood work done last year and everything is good on that front - no clotting factors or anything else that could impact me getting pregnant.

But, while we're waiting..... David and I have made a big decision. We are starting the process to become foster parents. We've both had experiences with the system in the past - his nephew; one of my tutoring cases... We have a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house and there is absolutely no reason we can't share it with kids who need a home. We know that most cases will only be temporary. Iowa "prides" itself in reuniting families. Sometimes this is good; sometimes this is bad. But that's a whole other post for another day....... But, we have filled out all the paperwork. We are going to get fingerprinted tomorrow, and then we have an "informational orientation" tomorrow evening. The paperwork says that it can take 6-8 weeks to get everything back, but it can sometimes be quicker. If we are approved, then we will go through a 10-week training, and then we will be licensed foster care parents!

Yes, we are still going to keep trying to get pregnant. We have always talked about helping kids - fostering, adopting, anything we can do. It's just who we are - someday, we want to buy a huge acreage and have room for tons and tons of kids - biological and adopted! We are keeping an eye out on Craigs list and garage sales for furniture. We have a twin bed but we need a dresser. We'd like to find another twin bed so that if my mom comes to town, she has a place to sleep also!

Sometimes, I think that I'm giving up hope that we will ever have our own children. It's so hard for me to work in the area of town that I work in - these "parents" (and I use the term loosely) can look at a man and get pregnant. They don't even raise the children they have - they don't make the decisions that are best for their child. They bring them to school drunk or high, live off of the system, don't work, don't set rules for their children... and then they get pregnant again, and the cycle continues.....

I believe in God. I do. I believe that He knows what's best for us. And I know that we will have a baby when it is our time. It seems like everytime I turn around, somebody else is announcing their pregnancy. Babies are a blessing, but damn it, I want MY blessing. And then I feel guilty because I know I should blame God, or be mad at Him, for us not being pregnant. He knows the big picture - not me. And supposedly, He won't hand me more than I can handle. But, I've handled alot. And I'm ready to "handle" a baby. I'm ready to grow our family -- I would love for David's mom to meet our son or daughter. Not her first grand child, but her first by David. But I know that we need to get pregnant sooner than later for that to happen. And that pressure scares me. I may not always get along with the woman, but she loves us, and she will spoil our baby rotten!!!!

Anyways... enogh of the emotional shit. David is recovering nicely from surgery. On Thursday night, though, he started having problems breathing. We went to the ER on Friday evening, and they admitted him for a possible blood clot. Turns out, it wasn't a blood clot! He has Pluracy, which can lead to Pneumonia. The lower lobes in both of his lungs are kind of collapsing on themselves, making it difficult and painful to breath. He has an inhaler and is using something called an incentive spirometer - it makes him take really really deep breaths. He's also on stronger pain meds and is feeling better. His follow up appointment showed improvement, and his doctor thinks he should be okay to return to work after his surgeon appointment on the 30th.

My dad had a colonoscopy today. It's routine for him - in fact, I had one last year - our family history is so high that we have them regularly. Dr. S cleared Dad for 5 years!!! I was SO excited! It's usually 2-3 years; for a while it was every 6 months. So, here is me on my soap box: if you are older, or have a family history of colon cancer, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get routine colonoscopies! The prep sucks, but the procedure is super easy - in and out in 30 minutes. Colonoscopies save lives. My grandparents and my uncle all passed away from colon cancer. My uncle could have been treated if they had caught it soon enough. I think about him everyday, and wish he could have been at my wedding in person rather than in spirit.

I think that's it for ramblings. If you are the praying type - please say a prayer for us for the foster care "thing." We are very excited and hoping that we will be approved and can provide a loving home to many, many children. A pregnancy would be nice too - how about we take both! :-)

Chicken Pasta Salad

I got this recipe from somebody on a WW chatboard. I changed some measurements for my liking, and adjusted the points appropriately (of course).

POINTS® Value: 3
Servings: 12
(This was hard to tell - as a side dish, I'm calling a portion about 1/2 cup. So, adjust accordingly if you feel your portion should be more/less points.)

Ingredients
3 chicken breasts, cooked, cooled enough to handle, and cut into bite size pieces
2 cups Rotini or other shell pasta, cooked, drained, cooled (We use the Ronzoni SmartTaste - it's the healthiest we've found that isn't wheat)
1 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half
1 can artichoke hearts, quartered, not in oil
1 red pepper, diced
1 green pepper, diced
3/4 cup fat free italian dressing, or as much as you want to coat (we used the caesar variety)
3/4 cup fat free feta cheese, crumbled

Directions
Mix everything together. Toss salad in pasta to coat. You can use more/less dressing for your taste.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Black Bean Brownies

Yes, you read that right! Awesome way to get chocolate brownies and not kill yourself on points! And, if you make them for people who don't eat healthy, tell them they are chocolate brownies and they won't know the difference! David's brother, nephew, and dad LOVE these. His dad has NO clue what he's eating! :-)

POINTS® Value: 2
Servings: 12

Ingredients
1 box chocolate brownie mix (I try to find the reduced sugar/fat one)
1 can Black Beans, drain and rinse
1-2 cups water (depending on how moist you want them)

Directions
Mix black beans and water (I usually just fill the can with water, and that's how much I use). Puree black beans. If you want to leave it a little chunky, just tell your "unhealthy" people that they are chocolate chip brownies!

Mix black beans and brownie mix. Pour into greased 13x9x2. Bake as directed (including heat) on the brownie mix box.

Chicken and Rice Casserole

This is basically the same recipe we all grew up on. But, you'll be amazed at the portion size and points! Just by shredding the chicken it SEEMS like you get a much bigger portion and much more filling.

POINTS® Value: 3
Servings: 8

Ingredients

4 cooked chicken breasts (I cooked mine on George Foreman)
2 cups cooked white rice (You could use brown, but we haven't found a good brand of brown rice -- any suggestions?)
1 cup Campbell's Healthy Request Cream of Mushroom Soup *
1 cup Campbell's Healthy Request Cream of Chicken Soup *
2 second spray PAM
Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions
Shred chicken breasts, cook soups with water. Spray 13x9x2 inch baking dish with PAM. Cover dish with rice, layer shredded chicken on top. Pour soups over chicken. Bake at 350 until it bubbles (it took about 10 min before some of the chicken started browning a little).

* Using a whole can of both soups may have changed the points a little, but I was afraid it would be too dry. It was perfect this way!
* We also put a little fat free shredded cheese on the top - 1/4 cup over the whole thing.

Quick Black Bean and Sweet Potato Chili

I got this recipe from somebody on the WW message boards. This is seriously one of the best soups I have EVER - and I mean EVER - eaten! Chop time is a little high if you want something quick, but it is SO worth it!

POINTS® Value: 5
Servings: 6 (about a cup per serving)

Ingredients

2 large sweet potatoes
2 tbsp Extra virgin olive oil
1 cup chopped onion (I used a whole onion)
2-3 chopped garlic cloves (you could use jarred to save time if you wanted)
1 chopped green pepper
32 oz canned black beans - drain and rinse them
28 oz canned diced tomatoes - DO NOT drain
4 oz canned minced green chili peppers (you could use fresh but they were super expensive at the store)
2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp dried oregano
Salt to taste

Instructions

Bake or microwave sweet potatoes until just firm, about 3-4 minutes per potato (it took mine about 9 minutes in the microwave). When cool enough to handle, peel and cut into 3/4 inch chunks. Set aside.

Heat the oil in a large soup pot. Add the onion and garlic. Saute over medium heat until golden. Add the bell pepper, beans, tomatoes, chilies, cumin, and oregano. Bring to a simmer. Cover and simmer gently for 15 minutes. Add the sweet potatoes and continue to simmer until the vegetables are tender, 10-15 minutes (mine was done after about 8). Season lightly with salt.

If time allows, let stand off the heat for 1-2 hours, then heat as needed.

Weekly Update and Weigh In

Well, another week has passed....

David had his gall bladder out yesterday. The surgery went well and remained laproscopic! He was in a fair amount of pain after the surgery, but today feels a little better. He even went to weigh in with me! He didn't weigh, but he wanted to hear the meeting and see me........
.....
.....
.....
Lose 4 lbs!!!!!!!! This was my last weigh in of maintenance and somehow - I don't know how - I lost 4 lbs this week! I ate ALL of my daily points, ALL of my weekly "extras," and MOST of my activity points!

All I had to do was keep between 188 and 192. I'm sitting at 186 right now! I am officially a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers! I have lost 66.2 lbs and it's NEVER coming back!!!!!

My heart rate monitor came on Monday. I took it out for calibration on Monday night, and then for a 4 MILE walk/jog before we had to head to the hospital for David's surgery. It was really exciting to keep an eye on my heart rate and see how many calories I burned (567 in 59 minutes!).

I have 2 recipes I need to post about: Chicken and Rice Casserole and Black Bean & Sweet Potato Chili. Both yummy, both easy! I'm hoping to make another soup tomorrow night - Greek Lentil Soup. I wanted easy stuff for David this week. His mom is "babysitting" while I'm working and she has a tendency to not eat healthy. So, easy left overs it is! :-)

That's about all I have for the night. It's been a busy week, and a very exciting night! Oh, and I need to tell you all thank you so much for your support. Even if we've never met, your inspiration in your blogs, your encouraging words in comments.... Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!