Valentine's Day has come and gone...

I can't believe it's been just about 6 weeks since my last post. Sorry! Things have been crazy around here lately, and I just realized I basically disappeared for 6 weeks. So, let's see if I can get you caught up...

The Knee...
It's there! After being released for light cardio, I got my resistance lowered all the way to a 7! And then PT told me to cut down my wear-time. So, I did. Well, then I did one thing too many (as I often do), and ended up back at Level 9, wearing it most of the day, and no workouts.

Now, we're back down to Level 8 and I'm only wearing it 1 1/2 hrs at a time. Also, I've cut out the middle of the day exercises and doing okay with that. I did Yoga one night and made it! Now that Valentine's Day is over (too many hours at the shop), I will be able to get back to the gym, do some more workouts, and see where I'm at.

I told my PT that I was scared to push myself at the gym, especially since the setback in January. He told me to push myself so that we can find the "setback point" while I'm still seeing him. So, it continues.....

Weight Loss
Well, it's not so there. I'm staying the same, which is good. But, I want to get down to at least 190 before the cruise. That means 1 month, people! 1 month to lose 8 lbs. I can do it!!! I just need to be more on myself about writing my food down. That is the biggest thing for me - write it down before I eat it. And write down the exercise too!!!

Baby-Making
I guess I don't know what to say about this. David's health has been an issue the last couple months, so of course we're not "trying." But, all these people around me are getting pregnant and it gets harder and harder for me to just grin and act happy. I want to feel what these women are feeling - I want to feel MY baby kicking and hiccuping inside me. I want to feel the mood swings (not like I don't already have those), the nausea, the shitty nights of sleep. I want my husband to lay his hand on my belly and feel OUR CHILD moving underneath.

I'm sick of people asking me when we'll have a baby. I'm tired of coworkers saying "So, how's the baby making going?" I'm sad when I find out friends are pregnant. Yeah, I think they deserve it, but when is it my time? When do I get to have a baby? When do I get to hold OUR miracle in my arms? To post totally random pictures of my child laughing, eating, playing with the puppies, sleeping, cuddling with daddy, sleeping on mommy's chest.... And when somebody asks? I try to be nice. I try to smile and say "In God's time." But God needs to hear me - HEAR ME - I need a baby. I want a baby. I deserve a baby.

God and I have had our chats. Well, at least I've chatted and I hope He has listened. Honestly, at this point I don't think He has. But, I've tried. I've opened my heart and prayed for this miracle. Now to take it into my OB's hands......

And I need to get David motivated. He needs to lose weight and get healthy. Once that happens, his numbers will "supposedly" get better. Then we can do an IUI. I'm hoping to do this before July so that we can use the money in the med spending plan we have at work.

I guess that's about it for an update. That pretty much covers the 3 biggest things in my life, right? I promise not to disappear for so long again. I have a few new recipes to show you all. Hopefully this week that can happen...

Until then... ta-ta for now!