Ever have one of those days...

Where it seems like nothing goes right?

The kids were crazy at school. My para is upset with me because she chose to not come in until 11:00 yesterday because voting was more important. Okay, fine, whatever. BUT, when you call the office and say "I'll be a little late," they tend to notice when you walk in 2 1/2 hrs after you are supposed to be there! So, somehow that is my fault.

Class was good. We got out early.

But, then I came home and just got into a funk. My friend who is pregnant is having a tough time. She is really scared and doesn't think she can talk about stuff when her boyfriend is around (gee, a sign maybe??). And that just makes me want to scream even more!

I watched my shows - finally caught up on everything - but now I just don't feel like going to bed. I got pissy with David because he kept talking to his partner at work when he was on the phone with me. How stupid is that? He's at work - duh!

I don't want to go to bed. I hate sleeping alone. I miss David. I hate when he's gone for so many days. I haven't been sleeping very well - too much stress probably. I'm just in another funk, and frankly, I'm sick of it. When do WE get to be happy, To not live paycheck to paycheck, to see each other like "normal" married couples, to not have to work multiple jobs, to have a BABY????????????

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really ready to be a mom. Will my moods affect my baby when I'm pregnant? How about after he/she is born? Can I sacrifice the luxuries we do give ourselves if it is for our baby? Do I even deserve a baby? Maybe that's what God is telling us. We can't get pregnant because we don't deserve it. I told my friend tonight that God has plans and we don't always understand them. I swear sometimes I need to listen to my own advice. But I want to know, damn it. It's not fair that He is keeping these things away from me. Why are some of the parents of my students so much younger than me? 2 years ago, one of the parents was remembered by the secretary as being in the 5th grade - the secretary has only been there for 8 years. Do the math. Why did SHE get to have a baby, and I don't? Why do the parents who show up high or can't keep their pants up because they think it's "cool" to show off their ass crack get to have babies - multiple babies - and then make ME, as a tax payer, pay for them to raise that child? And I don't even get ONE baby that WE DESERVE, that will be loved and we will ALWAYS do what is best for that baby.

I need a drink. Bad. Thanks for letting me rant/ramble/vent.... whatever it is. Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.... right?

Night One of Dog Training!

Sorry, no pics or video. My camera was in my purse and David didn't want to get it.

So, each dog was seperated while the rest went outside.
~ Chewy went first. He did pretty well once he calmed down. I got him to sit one time without giving him a treat!
~ Allie was next. She was so excited! She is a very good dancer, but not that great of a sitter. She walked about 6 feet on her hind legs before I gave her a treat. Then, we started the "sit" word. She kind of got it. Not too bad.
~ Jazz went next because she was the only one I could get to stay inside. I didn't think she would do very well, but actually did awesome! And at bedtime, she was the first one to sit to get her treat!
~ Sam went next and did good too. The whole time, she was wagging her tail, even when she was sitting.
~ I asked David what to do with Toby because he can sit and lay down already. He wants him to walk. Toby did pretty well ~ better when his paws could touch my hand, which David agreed would be a "passing grade" on Test Day!
~ Max has to lay down because he already sits. He also handled the challenge well. He flops out like a big bear rug, and he's so furry that we both just laughed!

If I have time to work with them tonight, I will try to get pics. And when David is home this weekend I will have him do video of the most entertaining.

The Challenge

I'm weird. I'm a huge dog lover (duh!), and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the show It's Me or the Dog. So, David and I were watching it last week and he says "We need to call her and get her to train the dogs." Our dogs are NOT that badly behaved. Yeah, they bark, but what dog doesn't? The biggest thing is they are all puppies (under 2) and Toby and Max are the only two that I ever trained. So, David challenged me that I can't have them all sitting and laying down by January 1st. I upped it to they will sit, lay down, and not attack the door & people when we have visitors. And the trainer on my show will help me do it! I watch it every week and get tons of different ideas ~ she doesn't train any dog the same, soyou see different techniques. Think I can do it?

In other news... I just found out a friend of mine is pregnant. I am so happy for her! But, it hurts. She has been dating her boyfriend for about a year now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to marry him, and definitely wasn't ready for a baby - in HER words. And now, she's pregnant. I am so excited for her, but at the same time, it kills me. Why can't we have a baby? We're married, stabilized (for the most party), and WANT a baby. Why her and not me?

It's not like I don't think people shouldn't get pregnant since I can't. But it doesn't seem fair. And that's really selfish of me. David and I are going back and forth on when we want to try to do an IUI. December? January? Or wait 6 months? We don't WANT to wait, but would that be best for the baby? I hate not having control of what's going to happen. I hate wanting and not having, wondering and guessing what will be best. And if we don't do it, was that right? If we do do it, was that right?

AHHH! Okay, enough of the rambles. Off to work I go.

2 posts in one day!

I haven't done this in a long time ~ it's a new record! But, I have to show you pictures from Mismatched Day at school. This week is Red Ribbon Week ~ remember the anti-drug campaign we always did in school? Yeah, the still do it... But, we get the joy, as teachers, of dressing casual and a little goofy!

Monday was a regular day, Tuesday was Jersey Day (favorite sports team), Wednesday was our fall festival so we wore our school polos, today is Mismatched Day, and tomorrow is Orange/Black day (schools don't celebrate Halloween much anymore).

So, here I am, in all my dorky glory:



Oh, and I have on one Winnie the Pooh sock and one Tigger sock with my capris. But, the best thing: I'm COMFORTABLE! This top is one of my favorite tops, but I don't wear it very often because it "feels" casual. It's so soft and "a little" baggy (perfect!) - not too big, but nowhere close to form fitting.

Now the question: Should I fix my hair before I go to class tonight?

The Importance Of Walking

In honor of me sitting on my ASS this week, NOT making healthy choices, and avoiding Weigh-In tonight.... The school secretary emailed this to us, and I liked it, so here it is:

Importance of Walking

    Walking can add minutes to your life.
    This enables you at 85 years old
    To spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
    Home at $7000 per month.

     My grandpa started walking
     Five miles a day when he was 60..
     Now he's 97 years old
     And we don't know where he is.
     
     I like long walks,
     Especially when they are taken
     By people who annoy me.
     
     The only reason I would take up walking
     Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
     
     I have to walk early in the morning,
     Before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
     
     I joined a health club last year,
     Spent about 400 bucks.
     Haven't lost a pound.
     Apparently you have to go there.
   
     Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
     I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
     
     I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

     The advantage of exercising every day
     Is so when you die, they'll say,
     'Wow, he looks good doesn't he!'
     
     If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
     Start with a small country.
     
     I know I got a lot of exercise
     The last few years,......
     Just getting over the hill.
 
    We all get heavier as we get older,
     Because there's a lot more information in our heads.
     That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
     
     AND

     Every time I start thinking too much
     About how I look,
     I just find a Happy Hour
     And by the time I leave,
     I look just fine.

Check in!

Well, I turned my comps in last night. That headache is over. Now, I just wait for the answer. If I don't pass all 3 questions, I don't graduate in December. If I do pass, then I graduate. There are 3 readers for each question ~ all are professors at the University, but they don't tell us who they are. Very scary.

David and I went to Kansas City this weekend to see my mom. She bought tickets to Lion King ~ the Broadway version. I have a couple pics on my camera that I will share later. You aren't supposed to take pictures, and David said that a red light showed from the front of my camera, even with the flash off, so I stopped. Very, very, very cool! It was so life-like, I couldn't get enough of it. David thought it was going to be stupid, but he fell asleep last night STILL talking about it!

We should find out in a couple days about the house closing. We had to switch banks (the other one was taken over), so the Underwriting process started again. It only takes 2-3 days though, so we should know by Friday. Then we can close next week! It came back first time "approval pending conditions." Basically, they wanted to know what our budget looks like ~ that we can afford it ~ and questioned a little bit of David's employment (someone wrote down a date wrong, so it looked like there was a gap).

I guess that's about it. I will go to weigh-in Thursday night, and will hopefully post a loss. Not sure though because this weekend was full of bad food choices. But, maybe I can hit the gym tonight and Wednesday night.

Bummer...

Well, weigh-in was Thursday. I gained 2 lbs. But, I was half expecting it. I've noticed that I'm letting myself go back to my old ways ~ part of the stress/emotional eating that I do. But, David and I are both trying hard to stay on plan! He lost 4 lbs this week!

I think I've decided that I have the best husband in the world. No, he's not perfect, but he does his best to make me happy and to make my life easier. On Thursday, when he could have been resting before working a 4-day stretch at the hospital, he cooked 3 meals for me: Chicken strips, Sloppy Joes, and Chimichangas! These are my all-time favorite WW recipes! He took what he needed for 4 days, but left me the majority of the food. Why? "Because I want you to focus on your comps, not cooking." How sweet!!!!

I'm about to actually put onto paper what my thoughts and research are for the first of my 3 comp questions. It scares me. What if I don't do it right? What if I misinterpret the question, or don't answer it "clearly and concisely" enough? If I don't pass all 3, I don't graduate. But, no pressure, right? EEK!