Not Pregnant

So, all this emotional eating, hormones going all over the place, skin breaking out - but earlier than it ever should... I thought for sure I was pregnant.

Well, last night when I started having some pain around my left ovary, I ended up in the ER. Dr. Quack as he will now be called diagnosed me with something but didn't even do an ultrasound. He did do an exam (gotta love 'em) and blood work. He left the room to write my scripts and I asked David "If he's wrong and I am pregnant, will these meds hurt the baby?" "No, because it's early enough the urine test came back -." (The b/w PG test had to get shipped out because I was in a small-town ER) Dr. Quack recommended I go see my GP in "a week or two" if I don't feel better.

Needless to say, I wasn't going to wait a week or two - I called my OB first thing in the morning. I went in to see him and was diagnosed with the same thing, but had a more thorough exam done. I've decided now that the worst part about being pregnant will be all the internal exams and the internal ultrasound. Yeah, that was not pleasant. But, he said everything looked good! He changed the antibiotics to a 14 day round of some strong, but not expensive, stuff and said if I'm not feeling better in a week to come back.

Definitely not pregnant. But not healthy either. I took tomorrow off work and am hoping to feel better by the end of the day! (Oh, and Beth - I'll do the lemonade thing when I'm feeling a little better!)

Emotional Eating....

Since starting WW, I have learned that I'm an emotional eater. I feel like I have done a really good job combating those feelings and that reaction (bad day=bad food).

But today? This week? Not so much. I don't know what's going on. I feel like my world is falling apart around me. I have my husband, my puppies, my house, food in the fridge and on the table, and extended family. I have the basics and even more. My husband is my rock - he has been since LITERALLY the day I met him.

I don't know what my deal is. David thinks maybe I'm pregnant. I don't know. And then I get scared because can we really afford it right now? We've been trying so long, but the renters we have in our old house are horrible. They were - yes were - friends of ours. And I know realize that it was stupid to do that. But, we've tried everything to help them - and thought them being there would be a good situation for all involved. But, they continually screw us over and I barely even get an I'm Sorry. I feel like we work our asses off - I have 3 jobs (one is only 8 hrs on Saturday, but still...), David has 2 and is in school. And we have nothing to show for it. Oh, wait. Yes we do. We have $30 in our bank account until next Friday. Yeah, not sure how that's going to work.

I love my students. My para is good. My school is okay. But, I'm just not happy there this week. The year I started I was hired in November, so I'm a year behind where I should be for "tenure" - when I can actually move around outside of my school. My principal last year had the opportunity to put me in the Kindergarten classroom that I would have killed for. She didn't. She could have put me one of the 2 3rd grade classrooms that I would have enjoyed. But she didn't. She hired 3 new teachers that SUCK. Seriously - they suck. And I'm stuck in a grade that is burning me out to no end. So, now I have my masters - I should be able to move right? Nope! Just because I'm not tenured they won't even CONSIDER me until *possibly* this summer, and probably not even then. We can't afford for me to get my Iowa license because of our renters and everything else, so I'm stuck at my school another year. I thought about trying to get into another district in Omaha, but what's the point when I want to come to Iowa next year - or the school year after we have our first baby.

One of my coworkers made a nasty comment about the fact that "I can't afford XYZ because I don't have a husband to support me." UM, excuse me? My husband and I work our asses off for what we have and we support each other. Then, she tells me that since "you live with your hubby" that I don't need to talk to him at all during the day. Again, let me explain my schedule to you bitch. I am LUCKY to see David 2 hrs a night 3 nights a week. He's at home, with me, in bed, one night a week. That's it. So, try that again. You see the guy you are fucking more than I even TALK to my husband. Why do people think that just because we're married means life is all fucking hunky-dory and rainbows and puppies?

So, back to the emotional eating... I've been hungrier than usual today - I didn't eat all my points yesterday, so I figured I would be a little hungry today. I packed lots of yummy veggies and fruit to get me through the day. So, how did I do? Well, I started off great with cereal for breakfast. I got to school and today was Friday treats. I usually resist, but today I had a big, soft, still slightly warm bagel - but, hey, the veggie cream cheese was reduced fat! Lunch? I had a McDonald's grilled chicken southwest salad. I figured out that with dressing, it's only 8 points (maybe 9), so a little high but not too bad..... Then, I proceeded to eat one of my Lindsor Truffles, another 1/2 bagel (this one wasn't plain so I know it was more points), and a handful of cheetos! I get home... shouldn't be hungry, right? Need to go to the gym, right? Nope. I'm gonna sit on my skinny ass and have 4 points of mexican rice. Then, I'm gonna pop open a bottle of white wine and heat up ~ 3 cups of the Taco Soup with cheese and sour cream! Oh, and I had saltines with that. And I'm still hungry. I have ice cream and chocolate cake (true, both are healthy) calling my name...... and it's only 6:42. My incision has been bothering me today, so I'm worried about going to the gym. If I could get off my ass, I'd do my walking video. But, probably not a good idea with 1/2 glass of wine in me.

I still have to go deal with our renters - I don't plan on being nice. If David were with me, we would be telling them they have 1 month to stop fucking us over or they could start packing their bags. But, I'm by myself. So, I'm going to ream them and tell them that if it happens one more month, we will change the lease to reflect that if we go into our overdraft protection because they don't pay their rent on time (we still pay the mortgage payment on time so it doesn't hurt our credit), then they will have to pay that money back to us. And I'm going to tell them that I'm done with their "friendship." You never answer your phone when I call - I leave messages just to see how you're feeling because you've had bronchitis and other stuff going on.... I'm done. I will be here every month on the 10th of the month to pick up your rent. The lease says your responsible for all repairs, but you will let us know when something is being repaired. And our friendship is over.

So, emotional eating sucks. I feel like a horrible wife, a hypocrite, a bad friend, a bad coworker, bad teacher, bad everything right now........ I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm getting sick of it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Turkey Enchilada Pie

David made this for my dad's birthday last night. It was really yummy but a little spicy for my taste. I think next time we will either leave the peppers out or cut the amount down.

POINTS® Value: 4
Servings: 6
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 30 min

Ingredients
1 spray(s) cooking spray
3/4 pound(s) lean ground turkey
1 medium onion(s), chopped
1 tsp chili powder
3 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 cup(s) fat-free skim milk
4 oz canned jalapeno peppers, drained and chopped
1/2 tsp ground cumin
3 large burrito-size wheat flour tortilla(s)
3 cup(s) tomato(es), chopped
10 tbsp low-fat shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a large skillet with cooking spray. Heat skillet over medium heat. Place turkey, onion and chili powder in skillet and cook until turkey is browned, stirring occasionally to break up meat, about 8 minutes. Remove turkey mixture from skillet and set aside.

Place skillet over medium-high heat and add flour. Gradually add milk, stirring with a whisk until blended. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to medium; simmer until thickened, about 2 minutes.

Remove skillet from heat; stir in turkey mixture, jalapenos and cumin.

Wrap tortillas in damp paper towels and microwave on HIGH until softened, about 15 seconds. Place 1 tortilla in bottom of a 9-inch pie plate. Spread 1/3 of turkey mixture over tortilla. Spoon 1 cup of tomato on top and sprinkle with 4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) of cheese. Repeat layers with remaining ingredients ending up with 2 tablespoons of cheese.

Cover pie plate with aluminum foil and cook until cheese melts and filling is warmed through, about 15 minutes. Let stand, covered, 2 minutes before cutting into 6 wedges.

Would you like to resume your journey?

We went to weigh-in tonight, and the weekly topic was goals. Weight loss really is a journey. Sometimes, people don't realize it. It's not like I went from an 18W to 12 overnight. It has taken me over a year.

My leader, Leah, read a little story from the Shot in the Arm book. It was about the GPS system, who gets "mad" when you go off your path. But, in the story, the person stopped at Applebees. When she restarted the car, the GPS asked "Would you like to resume your journey?" Rather than making them start all over........

Weight loss is a journey. When I stopped for my health and stress and everything else, I went back to Weight Watchers. I wasn't asked to start over - I was "asked" if I wanted to continue my journey. Obviously, I have done just that. Very powerful message!

So, the results.... I lost another 2.2 lbs! I normally don't post my actual weight, BUT I will say that I have hit a milestone and get to go to a winery now! I am definitely thinner than I have ever been - wearing a size 12 - and the only time I will ever go past that number again will be when I get pregnant.

Oh, today is Dad's birthday. Rather than taking him out, we decided to cook for him. We are making Enchilada Pie, which we've never made before. If it's good, I'll post it for you! We're also doing salad and a "mexican" rice mix (brown rice, black beans, diced tomatoes, corn, and jalepenos). This is David's favorite way to eat brown rice - practically the only!

Taco Soup

Here's another new recipe. I've heard lots of different versions of Taco Soup, but never tried it. Yet another easy, yummy recipe to add to the file!

POINTS® Value: 3 for 1 cup
Servings: ? (Not sure yet but it's alot!)
Preparation Time: 5 min
Cooking Time: 5 min or so

Ingredients
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 large can V8 juice
2 cans beans (any kind - I used kidney beans; drain a little but not all the way)
1 can corn (could use frozen or fresh during the summer)
2 cans Mexican style tomatoes
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 pkg ranch dressing mix

Directions
Cook and drain turkey

Put everything into a big pot and let it get hot.

*I topped my bowl with a tiny bit of cheese and sour cream, so I added a point for that. Super, super yummy!

Meatloaf Muffins

Okay, so this is by far the easiest WW recipe I've made! The sloppy joes are easy, too, but these are even easier! And they taste yummy too! :-) This recipe came from our WW leader.

POINTS® Value: 2
Servings: 12
Preparation Time: 5 min
Cooking Time: 30 min

Ingredients
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 egg
1 box stove top stuffing
1 cup water
1 onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced

Directions
Preheat oven to 350. Line a cupcake pan with cupcake liners and spray them with spray.

Mix everything together and put into the tins. Cook for 30 min.

New hair and new current pic!

I am a very high maintenance girl! I LOVE getting my hair done. That is the one thing I ask David to keep, even when we cut our budget. A few weeks ago, I actually offered to stop getting my hair colored. Well, I asked if I could go once more to have her dye it to my natural color so it wouldn't look like shit growing out, but then I'd give it up for a year or two. David actually told me no! He said this was the one thing that I did for me and he didn't want me to lose it (he has hunting in the winter and golf in the summer, so he seems it's only fair!).

So, I went in on Thursday with my mid-winter boredom blues! I gave Jess free reign. I've been seeing her for 5 years and have never been unhappy. She is wonderful. She works at Blonde Salon in Omaha (they don't have a website or I'd link it). I went from my regular slightly lighter than natural brown with blonde streaks and slightly longer than shoulder blade length to:



Not the best pics in the world, but basically, she did an all over auburn that actually produced different shades (from where my hair had been highlighted before) and "peekaboo" highlights of darker blonde. We also cut it and wedged it a little - the front sits just below my shoulders and the back sits just above my shoulders. I really like it! Since my hair is naturally curly, I'll straighten it most days which is fine as long as I shower at night so it dries by morning! I may wear it curly some days, but I think it might "shrink" too much and not look cute.

Now, for the rest of the title: new current pic....
David and I had pictures taken today - should be back in 2 weeks. I wanted to get a new top so that I'd have something that fits. We had a few minutes, so I decided to try on a pair of jeans.


I ended up buying a pair of ---

ready??? ----

size 12 jeans!!!!! I have never, ever, ever worn a 12! I can button and zip and wear them comfortably! One of the cuts was slightly tighter, but these are the "easy fit" from Walmart and they fit awesome! Since that picture isn't the best, I'm calling this one my "current" pic:


I'm making Meatloaf Muffins tonight, so be prepared for a new recipe (hopefully). I'm planning on making Taco Soup tomorrow night, which makes tons of servings, so that will be a nice one to freeze and have on cold days! Can't wait to try them both!