Update...

I went back to work today. I thought I'd be okay at work, but the pain got worse as the day went on. I also had dizzy spells throughout the day. I called my dr around 1:30 and he decided he wanted to see me back in his office. He checked me out again (seriously - do I really want to be pregnant???) and sent me to the hospital for a night of IV antibiotics and strong pain meds.

They did another ultrasound and more blood work. They gave me an IV and took 3 1/2 hrs to get me pain meds - different than the ones the dr prescribed, but David had gone home to let the dogs out and I didn't know what the dr had said. So, that should be interesting whenever my nurse FINALLY comes back in so David can discuss this with her.

The Toridol has made me loopy but the pain is still there. They had to call the dr to see if I could eat something because he originally said No. But, I hadn't eaten since 12:00 and was not doing well with that. But, David is here and is staying the night. I should be able to go home in the morning, and I obviously have the day off.

Now I'm going to sleep. The end.

Interesting fortune and decisions...

David took me to Chinese yesterday after the doctor. Seriously, this infection is making me crave all the bad stuff and alot of it! I'll go to WW meeting tomorrow, but I'm definitely not weighing in. It's allowed! When they switched to the Momentum plan, they give you basically a free pass - I don't have to weigh in, but I can still have "credit" for being there. I just know that my body needed this week and next week (or maybe in a day or two) will be better!

So, my fortune cookie read: An unexpected event will soon make your life more exciting. Good or bad? Doesn't say. But, sometimes I wonder if I WANT any more excitement?

David and I did alot of talking last night. The last 8 months have been tough with him working 72 hrs out of town. #1 - you can't try to have a baby if one of the necessary people is NOT there! #2 - we can't talk like we need to. #3 - He feels guilty that he can't help me around the house or with the puppies like he wants to. He talked to his current PT job yesterday - they will guarantee him 40+ hours a week. It is a little pay cut, BUT at this point, we think it will be okay. He can work as much overtime as he wants, and be home to be a husband, puppy daddy, and son/son-in-law. We have been very stressed with his full-time job and we think that this decision will help our marriage and our budget, even with the pay cut.

We are putting baby-making on a slight, but not complete, hold. David has been off the Clomid since his accident. He is going to wait until May and then go back on them. He is still taking the vitamins, and so am I. We are going to keep timing sex and using the other stuff we got (after my infection is cleared). But, we looked at our budget and the meds are a little expensive and not covered by insurance. By waiting until May, we will be in a better place. Then, in September/October we will go to the OB and do an IUI. If that worked, we would have a summer baby which would be perfect for my teaching! So, we're still gonna try, but we're not getting our hopes up.

We have plans. And by waiting and making these changes - somewhat expected and somewhat unexpected - we will be in a better position to be better parents and better spouses.

On the infection front... I'm still hurting. I thought the pain would start to get better, but it hasn't. I'm still exhausted, still starving. No fever (finally broke overnight), but everything else is killing me... So, I guess we'll see what happens in a few more days. I'm trying to decide about tutoring tonight - I need to go, but I feel like shit and I don't think I could give him my full attention. I also have to decide about work tomorrow. Again, feeling like SHIT, but I need to get back. I miss my kids and feel guilty for not being there.... I'm hoping my upcoming nap will help clear my thoughts and make me feel better.

Not Pregnant

So, all this emotional eating, hormones going all over the place, skin breaking out - but earlier than it ever should... I thought for sure I was pregnant.

Well, last night when I started having some pain around my left ovary, I ended up in the ER. Dr. Quack as he will now be called diagnosed me with something but didn't even do an ultrasound. He did do an exam (gotta love 'em) and blood work. He left the room to write my scripts and I asked David "If he's wrong and I am pregnant, will these meds hurt the baby?" "No, because it's early enough the urine test came back -." (The b/w PG test had to get shipped out because I was in a small-town ER) Dr. Quack recommended I go see my GP in "a week or two" if I don't feel better.

Needless to say, I wasn't going to wait a week or two - I called my OB first thing in the morning. I went in to see him and was diagnosed with the same thing, but had a more thorough exam done. I've decided now that the worst part about being pregnant will be all the internal exams and the internal ultrasound. Yeah, that was not pleasant. But, he said everything looked good! He changed the antibiotics to a 14 day round of some strong, but not expensive, stuff and said if I'm not feeling better in a week to come back.

Definitely not pregnant. But not healthy either. I took tomorrow off work and am hoping to feel better by the end of the day! (Oh, and Beth - I'll do the lemonade thing when I'm feeling a little better!)

Emotional Eating....

Since starting WW, I have learned that I'm an emotional eater. I feel like I have done a really good job combating those feelings and that reaction (bad day=bad food).

But today? This week? Not so much. I don't know what's going on. I feel like my world is falling apart around me. I have my husband, my puppies, my house, food in the fridge and on the table, and extended family. I have the basics and even more. My husband is my rock - he has been since LITERALLY the day I met him.

I don't know what my deal is. David thinks maybe I'm pregnant. I don't know. And then I get scared because can we really afford it right now? We've been trying so long, but the renters we have in our old house are horrible. They were - yes were - friends of ours. And I know realize that it was stupid to do that. But, we've tried everything to help them - and thought them being there would be a good situation for all involved. But, they continually screw us over and I barely even get an I'm Sorry. I feel like we work our asses off - I have 3 jobs (one is only 8 hrs on Saturday, but still...), David has 2 and is in school. And we have nothing to show for it. Oh, wait. Yes we do. We have $30 in our bank account until next Friday. Yeah, not sure how that's going to work.

I love my students. My para is good. My school is okay. But, I'm just not happy there this week. The year I started I was hired in November, so I'm a year behind where I should be for "tenure" - when I can actually move around outside of my school. My principal last year had the opportunity to put me in the Kindergarten classroom that I would have killed for. She didn't. She could have put me one of the 2 3rd grade classrooms that I would have enjoyed. But she didn't. She hired 3 new teachers that SUCK. Seriously - they suck. And I'm stuck in a grade that is burning me out to no end. So, now I have my masters - I should be able to move right? Nope! Just because I'm not tenured they won't even CONSIDER me until *possibly* this summer, and probably not even then. We can't afford for me to get my Iowa license because of our renters and everything else, so I'm stuck at my school another year. I thought about trying to get into another district in Omaha, but what's the point when I want to come to Iowa next year - or the school year after we have our first baby.

One of my coworkers made a nasty comment about the fact that "I can't afford XYZ because I don't have a husband to support me." UM, excuse me? My husband and I work our asses off for what we have and we support each other. Then, she tells me that since "you live with your hubby" that I don't need to talk to him at all during the day. Again, let me explain my schedule to you bitch. I am LUCKY to see David 2 hrs a night 3 nights a week. He's at home, with me, in bed, one night a week. That's it. So, try that again. You see the guy you are fucking more than I even TALK to my husband. Why do people think that just because we're married means life is all fucking hunky-dory and rainbows and puppies?

So, back to the emotional eating... I've been hungrier than usual today - I didn't eat all my points yesterday, so I figured I would be a little hungry today. I packed lots of yummy veggies and fruit to get me through the day. So, how did I do? Well, I started off great with cereal for breakfast. I got to school and today was Friday treats. I usually resist, but today I had a big, soft, still slightly warm bagel - but, hey, the veggie cream cheese was reduced fat! Lunch? I had a McDonald's grilled chicken southwest salad. I figured out that with dressing, it's only 8 points (maybe 9), so a little high but not too bad..... Then, I proceeded to eat one of my Lindsor Truffles, another 1/2 bagel (this one wasn't plain so I know it was more points), and a handful of cheetos! I get home... shouldn't be hungry, right? Need to go to the gym, right? Nope. I'm gonna sit on my skinny ass and have 4 points of mexican rice. Then, I'm gonna pop open a bottle of white wine and heat up ~ 3 cups of the Taco Soup with cheese and sour cream! Oh, and I had saltines with that. And I'm still hungry. I have ice cream and chocolate cake (true, both are healthy) calling my name...... and it's only 6:42. My incision has been bothering me today, so I'm worried about going to the gym. If I could get off my ass, I'd do my walking video. But, probably not a good idea with 1/2 glass of wine in me.

I still have to go deal with our renters - I don't plan on being nice. If David were with me, we would be telling them they have 1 month to stop fucking us over or they could start packing their bags. But, I'm by myself. So, I'm going to ream them and tell them that if it happens one more month, we will change the lease to reflect that if we go into our overdraft protection because they don't pay their rent on time (we still pay the mortgage payment on time so it doesn't hurt our credit), then they will have to pay that money back to us. And I'm going to tell them that I'm done with their "friendship." You never answer your phone when I call - I leave messages just to see how you're feeling because you've had bronchitis and other stuff going on.... I'm done. I will be here every month on the 10th of the month to pick up your rent. The lease says your responsible for all repairs, but you will let us know when something is being repaired. And our friendship is over.

So, emotional eating sucks. I feel like a horrible wife, a hypocrite, a bad friend, a bad coworker, bad teacher, bad everything right now........ I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm getting sick of it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Turkey Enchilada Pie

David made this for my dad's birthday last night. It was really yummy but a little spicy for my taste. I think next time we will either leave the peppers out or cut the amount down.

POINTS® Value: 4
Servings: 6
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 30 min

Ingredients
1 spray(s) cooking spray
3/4 pound(s) lean ground turkey
1 medium onion(s), chopped
1 tsp chili powder
3 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 cup(s) fat-free skim milk
4 oz canned jalapeno peppers, drained and chopped
1/2 tsp ground cumin
3 large burrito-size wheat flour tortilla(s)
3 cup(s) tomato(es), chopped
10 tbsp low-fat shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a large skillet with cooking spray. Heat skillet over medium heat. Place turkey, onion and chili powder in skillet and cook until turkey is browned, stirring occasionally to break up meat, about 8 minutes. Remove turkey mixture from skillet and set aside.

Place skillet over medium-high heat and add flour. Gradually add milk, stirring with a whisk until blended. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to medium; simmer until thickened, about 2 minutes.

Remove skillet from heat; stir in turkey mixture, jalapenos and cumin.

Wrap tortillas in damp paper towels and microwave on HIGH until softened, about 15 seconds. Place 1 tortilla in bottom of a 9-inch pie plate. Spread 1/3 of turkey mixture over tortilla. Spoon 1 cup of tomato on top and sprinkle with 4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) of cheese. Repeat layers with remaining ingredients ending up with 2 tablespoons of cheese.

Cover pie plate with aluminum foil and cook until cheese melts and filling is warmed through, about 15 minutes. Let stand, covered, 2 minutes before cutting into 6 wedges.

Would you like to resume your journey?

We went to weigh-in tonight, and the weekly topic was goals. Weight loss really is a journey. Sometimes, people don't realize it. It's not like I went from an 18W to 12 overnight. It has taken me over a year.

My leader, Leah, read a little story from the Shot in the Arm book. It was about the GPS system, who gets "mad" when you go off your path. But, in the story, the person stopped at Applebees. When she restarted the car, the GPS asked "Would you like to resume your journey?" Rather than making them start all over........

Weight loss is a journey. When I stopped for my health and stress and everything else, I went back to Weight Watchers. I wasn't asked to start over - I was "asked" if I wanted to continue my journey. Obviously, I have done just that. Very powerful message!

So, the results.... I lost another 2.2 lbs! I normally don't post my actual weight, BUT I will say that I have hit a milestone and get to go to a winery now! I am definitely thinner than I have ever been - wearing a size 12 - and the only time I will ever go past that number again will be when I get pregnant.

Oh, today is Dad's birthday. Rather than taking him out, we decided to cook for him. We are making Enchilada Pie, which we've never made before. If it's good, I'll post it for you! We're also doing salad and a "mexican" rice mix (brown rice, black beans, diced tomatoes, corn, and jalepenos). This is David's favorite way to eat brown rice - practically the only!

Taco Soup

Here's another new recipe. I've heard lots of different versions of Taco Soup, but never tried it. Yet another easy, yummy recipe to add to the file!

POINTS® Value: 3 for 1 cup
Servings: ? (Not sure yet but it's alot!)
Preparation Time: 5 min
Cooking Time: 5 min or so

Ingredients
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 large can V8 juice
2 cans beans (any kind - I used kidney beans; drain a little but not all the way)
1 can corn (could use frozen or fresh during the summer)
2 cans Mexican style tomatoes
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 pkg ranch dressing mix

Directions
Cook and drain turkey

Put everything into a big pot and let it get hot.

*I topped my bowl with a tiny bit of cheese and sour cream, so I added a point for that. Super, super yummy!