Yet another realization...

So, tonight, Biggest Loser started. If you haven't seen it, go watch it. It's an awesome show. Some people don't like it because that's all they do is work out and eat what's put in front of them. But, the transformations and stories are absolutely amazing!

I needed to go to the gym, so after tutoring I went. I made sure I had my head phones so I could start watching. After about 15 minutes, my knee started bugging me a little. Didn't think anything of it. Then, my incision felt like it was burning. I had to stop after 27 minutes. I all but started crying AT THE GYM. Before my surgery, I was able to do an hour on the elliptical AND 15 min on the Stairmaster AND crunches on the ab machine. Now, I'm doing good to make it 30 minutes just on the elliptical - NO abs or stairmaster.

I called David balling. I feel like I'm a bad wife. I'm getting healthy for myself, yes, but I'm doing it for our family too. We want to have a baby, and I need to be healthy for that to happen.

So I did something to help others - the Biggest Loser has a pound for pound challenge. Basically, you just pledge to lose weight until May 1st. Well, duh! I'm gonna be doing that anyways!! So now people who can't afford food will get some because I'm doing what I've been doing for a year.

I realized tonight that, just because I'm thinner than I was a year ago, doesn't mean I'm healthy. "Healthy" is making healthy food choices AND making healthy exercise choices. I guess I thought that being thinner and looking better would mean that I'm healthy. But, seriously, I should be able to do high intensity cardio for more than 30 minutes without feeling like I'm about to die.

I AM going to get back! I AM going to be healthy - food AND exercise. David and I are going to do it together, for ourselves as individuals, for ourselves as a couple, and for ourselves as a someday-expanding family.